Guest Post: How to Reach Out to Grieving Parents

In 2013 the U.S. had 23,440 infant deaths.  Infant deaths are those that take place before the child turns one.  This does not include those that experience miscarriages and stillbirths.  Losing a baby, no matter at what point, is very difficult for a family.  For family and friends around them, it can also be very difficult to know what to do to show love and support to the grieving parents. I found myself in that exact situation just over a year ago when my friend Hailey gave birth to her son at 24 weeks.  We were hopeful that he would make it, but 32 days later, he passed away.  Hailey was willing to share her experience and how you can support grieving parents....

MORE BOOKS for just a LITTLE

Summer is a great time to read! Here is some ideas on how to aquire

MORE BOOKS for just a LITTLE

It's great to go to the public library for books, but you may ask yourself, how can I increase my home library?  Here are a few ideas to consider:

Yard Sales:  This is a great way to get gently used books for a bargain price.  I'm a big yard-saler, and I see books at almost every one I go to.  For kids books, make sure you flip through the pages and check for torn, missing or colored-on pages (it happens!).

Thrift Stores:  Most thrift stores, such as Desert Industries and Savers, have a good supply of books for sale.  So many that you can even be choosy!  For kids, I would suggest getting hardback or board books, they just hold up a lot better.

Public Libraries:  Your local library probably has a book cart/shelf with books for sale.  These are usually discarded items that may have issues, so check carefully.  The Provo City Library will have their next Book Sale on Sept. 2, 2015.  www.provolibrary.com/library-book-sale

School Libraries:  Periodically the school libraries will "clean out" their inventory and give away or sell their excess books.  Ask your school librarian when the next time is they will do this.

Birthday Gifts:  Books make a great gift for anyone at any age!  Start giving your child a book each birthday to help build their own collection.  Also, when grandparents or relatives are asking for gift ideas, simply say, "Books!"

BYU Bookstore:  The BYU Bookstore has several sections of books on clearance.  On top of that, if you go from late November to late December, you can get 20% off your total purchase.  Just in time for Christmas!

Seagull Book:  The Seagull Bookstores found throughout Utah County have a bargain book table somewhere in the store (usually in the back) with great deals on books for all ages.

With just a little bit of effort and not a lot of money, you can increase the books available in your home, and hopefully the amount of reading in your home.  Good luck and happy reading!

Moms need Moms

Putting Children First

Our youngest hogging my spot (totally worth it)

As parents, our first priority is our children. Naturally. We consider their needs before our own, as we should. Many of us research everything from how to feed our children to how to get them into the best college. How many of us devote any time to researching our own needs? Are we equally invested in our own healthy development?

I am not suggesting that we do not continue to put our children first. I am not suggesting that we contribute to the growing self-centered culture of self-actualization and self-fulfillment at the expense of all else. I am suggesting that caring for ourselves-investing some of our effort into keeping ourselves healthy-is ultimately an invaluable way to put our children first. Healthy mommies can take better care of their children. If you have ever struggled with postpartum depression, or seen another mom struggle, perhaps you have learned the truth of this concept.

Postpartum Depression

While postpartum depression is often triggered by significant life and hormonal changes, in my experience, there are two major contributors to degree and susceptibility;

Isolation & Sleep Deprivation

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For me, far better than the different therapies and medications (which were sometimes very helpful, sometimes less so) were concentrated efforts to get more sleep and to remain connected to other women. 

Talking with other moms is my best medicine. 

Knowing I am not alone, hashing through parenting concerns with others who are in the trenches too (rather than relying solely on "experts" who know nothing of my particular circumstance) have been my saving grace six-times over. Other moms are the only way I end up believing that despite my struggles, I am doing a really good job. And that knowledge is often enough to break the depression fog. It is not easy. It requires some effort and help, but when I say break the fog I mean move from that hopeless, helpless place, to the place where I can begin searching for solutions.

When it comes to postpartum depression, healthy mothering begins with recognizing risks and knowing what to look for. From there it is important to identify what your potential triggers may be and then foster an environment that helps you manage those risks.

Reach Out and Recharge

So if you can relate to me and your danger zones are isolation and sleep deprivation, take a nap. Forget the chores and go to bed early. Plan a girls night or a ladies lunch. If you can't get out, bring them to you. Share some hot chocolate or hummus with another mom who won't judge your laundry mountain or you raccoon eyes from that time you actually put on makeup last Tuesday. If all else fails, pick up the phone. Have a chat. Because moms need other moms. Depression or not, we all need to know we are not alone. It will do wonders for helping you recharge and get back to putting your child first.

To learn more about symptoms of postpartum depression click here. 
To explore some options for help, click here, here, or talk to your doctor or another mother.

Please share with us what helps you stay healthy, focused, or balanced in your mothering. And keep an eye out for a future post about what you can do to support other moms.

Mommy, Wow! We're All Grown Up Now

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Each and every parent waits in great and nervous anticipation for their children’s milestone moments: crawling, first steps, off to school and—finally—launching them from home. After almost five years of existence, Help Me Grow has reached some of its own milestone moments—many of them under the carefully guided hand of Utah County leaders, who possessed great foresight. These years of nurturing have given rise to services seen fit to now go beyond the bounds of the Wasatch Front. And so, with great support from our state, we’re happy to announce that Help Me Grow is now “all grown up” and able to support families across the state of Utah!

On our end, we’re filled with gratitude for the generous funding provided by the Department of Workforce Services and various divisions of the Department of Health and Human Services. Due to this funding, we have diligently been hiring qualified workers to be placed throughout the state. Their primary role is to get to know your community and the services there to help families with young children. The staff members in our current offices have been discussing and planning for this expanded growth; they have begun to learn about the resources and supports in their newly assigned areas of Utah.

For you, we hope this means you feel a new sense of excitement! All of the behind the scenes work is moving forward and is now here for you to take advantage of. Tell your family, friends, doctor, and anyone else where you live that they need to get to know Help Me Grow. Tell all these same people across the state the same thing. Share your story with us here (by commenting below) so others can

see that being “all grown up” is a blessing and the state didn't go wrong in launching our rapid expansion.

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We’re as proud as any parents can be. But, more importantly, we’re thrilled! Thrilled that hard work eventually pays off; thrilled by the support from our state; thrilled that our small steps have moved us to this big moment; and thrilled beyond measure that we can now come to you to find and enrich the sense of family and community where you live. The old adage is endlessly true. It takes a village to raise a child. Help Me Grow wants to be part of the village to help you be the best parents you can while raising our future. Together we’ll do it!

"Who is my Child?"

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On Wednesday, at our "Ready to Learn" Parent group, we had a fantastic presentation done on child temperaments. Previous to this class, I had no idea what this meant, and after learning about it, I think this knowledge could be a parents best friend!

A temperament is how a person usually acts and every person is made up of several different traits. Understanding temperament is important because it affects how much your child learns, how well he or she behaves and how happy your child can be.

As you read through the traits, think about where your child might fall on the spectrum- then you can use that information to learn more about how you can help your child use those traits to their best advantage.

The Traits of Temperament are as follows:

• Activity Level: How active is my child? Very active or less active?

• Sensitivity to Senses: How sensitive is my child to light, smells, sound and touching? 

• Awareness of Feelings: How aware is my child of feelings and emotions?

• Strength of Expression: How strongly does my child express feelings, wants and opinions?

• Persistence: How does my child stick with and complete a task?

• Distractibility: How does my child pay attention? Not distracted or easily distracted?

• Ability to Change: How does my child adapt to change? Enjoys it or prefers the familiar?

• Need for Physical Routine: How much routine does my child need? prefers routine, or likes variety?

• Usual Mood: What is my child's mood most of the time?

Once you identify where your child fits in with these traits, then you can learn more about that specific temperament from the website here! (it starts on page 16). Under each trait, there are tips for working with your child and helping them use their temperaments to their (and your) advantage! 

If you have any additional ideas about children temperaments, let us know by commenting below. 

Also, our Aspire and Ready to Learn Parenting classes happen on the third Wednesday of every month at the Utah Department of Health in Provo. Its free and pizza and a lesson are provided! Come join us next month! 

Baby Sign Language

Before working at Help Me Grow, I ran the daycare for a local fitness company.  I would watch the trainer’s children as they worked out and there was one little girl in particular that I loved watching.  She was a little over one and was probably the cutest thing I have ever seen in my life! One thing I noticed with her though, was how she would respond to certain things I would say to her with hand motions.  I would ask if she wanted a drink and she would put her hand up to her mouth as if she had a cup, if I asked her if she wanted food she would put her little fingers up to her mouth as if she was eating.  I asked her mom if she was learning sign language and she said yes! But she only knew a few things so far and they were still working on it.  I just thought this was the coolest thing, and  now I really want to teach my kids to sign!

There are many studies that show the benefits signing have on infant communication.  Between 9 months and 2 years old children begin to know what they want, need, and feel but they do not yet have the verbal skills they need to communicate these things.  Signing can ease the frustration children feel and bridge the communication gap during this age range.

To begin teaching your child how to sign, you first need to familiarize yourself with common baby signs through books and websites.  Here are a few online resources that are very helpful in learning how to teach your baby signing. One of those is Baby Sign Language.  They have easy to follow steps for parents and access to a signing dictionary and flash cards for practice.  Another is Signing Time. They have products and information for children zero to eight.  Lastly, there is a YouTube channel called My Smart Hands that has instructional videos for parents. 

These are some important things expert have found to be helpful in teaching children how to sign:

      Be Patient! Have realistic expectations about when to teach your infant to sign and when you can expect them to sign back.  Most infants can begin communicating through signing around 8 to 9 months old.

      Don’t forget to communicate with your infant verbally as well.  As long as signing does not replace verbal communication, there should not be any negative effects of signing on learning to talk. 
 Keep signs simple.  Start with simple signs that have to do with everyday activities.  Don’t get frustrated if your child does not do every sign perfectly!  Signing is meant to relieve frustration, not add to it.

      Make it FUN!  Find fun, enjoyable activities to incorporate in their signing, such as dancing, singing, and eating to keep their interest while they are learning. 

FREE Child Nutrition Class

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When I was young it seemed like all the adults made a big fuss out of eating my vegetables, the least appealing food on my plate. My grandma would hand us carrots saying "Eating these will make your eyes beautiful and healthy." My mom almost always included a side salad with our dinner. Even Popeye got in on the act, encouraging me to eat spinach so that I could have strong muscles like him. It never made much sense to me as a child. Why eat the green stuff when the hamburgers and pizza tasted so much better?

Now, I am expecting my first child and once again I am encouraged to eat lots of green stuff. The difference is that now I understand it. I know that the food I eat will directly influence the health of my baby. I understand that the types of food I make for dinner now and throughout my children's life will make a difference. Now it's my turn to be the adult "making a fuss" about vegetables, and I want to live up to the part. However, I'm no nutrition expert so any of the information that I can get is greatly appreciated.

Fortunately, Coursera offers a FREE online Nutrition Class through Stanford for parents such as myself who are looking for information about helping their children eat healthy. The course covers information about what constitutes a healthy meal for children and how to prepare them as well as information about the risks associated with processed food and childhood obesity. It wont take up much of your time. The course lasts 5 weeks and the workload is only 2-4 hours a week. Why miss out on free education? Click here to learn more and register for the class. Don't wait! The next course starts January 13th 2013! 

Halloween Activities for Families

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Stores are decorated with Ghosts and Skeletons. Jack-O-Lanterns are lighting up front door steps. Advertisements for haunted houses and corn mazes are appearing on billboards. It's no secret. Halloween is just around the corner!

When it comes to Halloween activities for families Trick-or-Treating is definitely a favorite. But it doesn't have to be the only thing your family does this week. Here are additional ideas for some Halloween fun:

1. Visit a Pumpkin Patch: If your family still hasn't picked out their pumpkins, what better way to do it then by taking your kids to a pumpkin patch where there they can choose their future Jack-O-Lantern from a variety of shapes and sizes. Click here for a listing of pumpkin patches, corn mazes, hay rides, and other GREAT Halloween locations for families.  
2. Make a Halloween Treat: If your children are always asking to help you make dinner here are some creative Halloween treats that kids can make. Cooking can be a great way for children to enhance their math and science abilities as they measure and count ingredients or watch their food magically change from a liquid to a solid in the oven.
3. Create Your Own Halloween Costumes: Who says you need to make a dent in your savings on store bought costumes this year when you can make your own. Click here, here, or here for some creative homemade costume ideas for kids, including last minute ideas that wont involve any sewing.
4. Put a Spooky Twist on Arts and Crafts: Do your kids love to color? Why not print out some Halloween coloring pages from Disney, or get creative with things you already have. Make spiders out of  pipe cleaner, ghosts with cotton balls, or pumpkins with paper plates. Don't forget to display the artwork, your kids will love seeing their creations used to decorate the house!
5. Watch a Family Friendly Halloween Movie: Looking some some Halloween movies that your kids are allowed to watch? Click here for a list of not-so-scary Halloween movies appropriate for your whole family.

Whatever the activities your family decides to do this week, remember to have fun and be safe! Happy Halloween from the Help Me Grow team!

Uplift Families Parenting Conference

The First Lady of Utah, Jeanette Herbert, is bringing her annual conference to Utah County this month!  The “Uplift FamiliesParenting Conference” will be held on Saturday, October 26^th at the Utah Valley Convention Center from 5:30 pm – 9:30 pm.  This will be a fantastic evening for those who are single, married, a parent or a grandparent! 

The conference will include international dinner and dessert stations among booths and exhibits, addresses by Governor and First Lady Herbert, inspirational presentations by Richard and Linda Eyre, Chad Lewis, Stephanie Nielsen, Carmen Rasmussen Herbert and other renowned experts on issues that families face.  The cost is $25.00 per couple of $15.00 for a single ticket.  Seating will be limited to 500.  The folks from Deseret Digital Media will be filming the presentations to go on the Uplift Families YouTube channel in 2014, so the attendees will literally become a studio audience.

Don't miss out on this great opportunity to learn valuable parenting information! Click here to purchase your tickets for the conference now!

Screen Time—Can It Really Help Children Learn to Read?

I watched my 13 month-old granddaughter learn to screw off the top of a water bottle last night.  She was totally absorbed in getting her little fingers around the top and turning her wrist just right to get the top off and then putting it back on and turning it the other direction to get it back on. The intent and determined look on her face was precious. But as soon as her grandpa and dad started looking at the new features on their latest iphone updates, she dropped the bottle and reached for the phone.  What is the intrigue of screens for these developing toddler minds?

There is a great presentation at KBYU Eleven coming up titled:  Screen Time—Can It Really Help Children Learn to Read?”  Diena Simmons, the station manager, will discuss how TV, computer, tablet and mobile screen time can be leveraged to help children learn to read.  She’ll talk about what works, what doesn’t, and how parents and caregivers (including grandparents!) can tell the difference.  Plus she will review free resources that are available to almost every home through public television, America’s largest classroom.

The luncheon is on Wednesday,Oct. 2, 2013, 11:30 am-1:00 pm at KBYU Broadcasting (east of the Marriott Center, free parking for guests in the “Y” lot on the north side of KBYU).  

For a $10 donation to United Way of Utah County Welcome Baby program, you will be educated AND have a great lunch with a roomful of women like yourself.  There will even be door prizes!  So get a bunch of your friends together, find a babysitter and enjoy a midday break.

I feel pretty inadequate trying to keep up with technology for myself—my new iphone updates are still challenging me—but I sure want to keep up with what impact the screens at my house will have on my granddaughter’s development.

Building Family Unity

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It’s that time of year again; back to school! With school back in session comes the after school extracurricular activities. Football practice, dance classes, piano lessons; you might be thinking “How am I going to keep my family together with every one going in different directions!?”  Here are 4 tips my mom used on her own kids in order to build unity within our family.

1.       Listen to each other: Listening is one of the most powerful ways to show someone you care. Make special efforts to actively listen to your children whether they’re expressing their fears, goals, achievements, or just babbling. Listening and responding when appropriate allows a feeling of understanding as well as a connection to be made between the listener and the speaker.

2.       Share responsibilities: Help your family to understand that they are each part of a team. Let your children know what you expect from each of them when assigning chores or small tasks around the house. Allow them to feel responsible and help them to understand how their contribution affects the family.

3.       Establish routines: There is a sense of safety found in routines. Though not everything you do needs to be part of your family’s routine, things such as dinner time and bedtime, especially for young children should be consistent.

4.       Have fun! Spend time having fun with your family. Set aside time at least once a month to do something out of the ordinary with your family. But don’t worry, whatever you do does not have to cost lots of money or be something extravagant. Something as simple as a hike, a picnic in the park, or a trip to a local museum would work. The idea is to be spending time playing with your family which will help strengthen the family unity and allow your children to realize that being part of a team isn’t just about working together, but also playing together.

For fun family events going on in Utah check here and here.

Hungry for Parenting Tips? Check out these MommyBites

MommyBites, get it? bites! mommies who are hungry for parenting?! Yeah, I thought it was clever. Probably not.

Anyway! I was looking over the interwebs and found this great blog/website called MommyBites.com. It looks to have a ton of resources. And they seem to be quite reliable. I wanted to share this great resource they had - FREE Online Parenting Classes! Lets be real, parents are constantly hearing about new ideas, receiving suggestions of what to try, and being told when is the appropriate age to potty train. Some of it is helpful, and some isn't. You're the parent, you decide. We can learn a lot from each other, but we (parents) retain the right to say "Yes! This fits me! This fits my family!"



So here's the list of topics for their class that starts next week - I hope that one of them jumps out to you and that you put it on your calendar. Whatever the current struggle...you'll find the perfect resource! And maybe its one of these MommyBites!

• Wednesday, 8/14:  Webinar: Preparing for Sibling
• Wednesday, 8/21:  Webinar: Foundations for Handwriting
• Thursday, 8/22:     Teleclass: Post-Baby Eating Tips for the New Mom
• Thursday, 9/5:       Teleclass: Start the School Year Off Right
• Wednesday, 9/18:  Webinar: Potty Training 101
• Thursday, 9/19:      Teleclass: Starting Solids & Infant Nutrition
• Thursday, 9/26:      Teleclass: Toddler Tantrums – Tips for Mom to Remain Calm
• Wednesday, 10/2:   Webinar: Toddler Sleep Solutions
• Tuesday, 10/8:       Teleclass: Helping Children Cope with Loss and Death
• Thursday, 10/24:   Teleclass: The Truth About Packaged Foods vs. Clean Eating

Key characteristics that lead to healthier families!

It wasn't till I had my own family that I realized how hard parenting was and that to do a good job I was going to need some help.  It was through friends, community and professionals that I was able to feel supported in making some very difficult decisions that eventually led to a much stronger and I meant add happier family.

Help Me Grow Utah believes that healthy families are the best way to ensure a child’s optimal development and we are invested in the well-being of families.

Every family has strengths and as family members we can identify our strengths and use them to increase the capacity of every individual in our family.  

The Center for Study of Social policy has been researching over many years what are the key characteristics that lead to healthier families.  These strengths or characteristics have been named “ five protective factors” and are the following:

1.      Social Connections-Friends

2.      Parental Resilience- Courage

3.      Concrete support in time of need- Resources

4.       Knowledge of parenting and child development- Knowledge and understanding

5.      Social and emotional competence of children-children has the ability to identify emotions, empathize with others and use this information to think about how to act.

Each of these factors can be reinforced by communities.  For example a community helps parents to connect with other parents.  Providing opportunities for parents of young children to connect can be so helpful because you begin to feel less isolated and

can discuss challenges with parents that are experiencing similar challenges.  A community that provides opportunities for this to happen is a place where families can flourish.  Another example of a community support is that of a central access point for parents to learn about what is available and what is good information.

We at Help Me Grow are committed to helping families connect to resources and receive information on parenting and child development.  As a parent strengthening these characteristics can give you knowledge to make the decisions for you and your children. 

When you are looking for resources and don’t know where to go you can dial 2-1-1 and ask for Help Me Grow. 

A skilled care coordinator will help you identify resources and then check up to make sure that you received the services you need. 

 Barbara Leavitt, Director Help Me Grow Utah 

Help Me Grow Community Calendar!

Spring is here and school will soon be out for the summer!  Need some ideas of what to do with your little ones all summer long?? Do you have children with disabilities?  Are you looking for a parent support group?

Our community calendar is a great way to find resources throughout the Salt Lake and Utah counties!

Help Me Grow's Community Calendar is located on our website www.helpmegrowutah.org under the Events tab.

The calendar includes various activities such as community wide events, events specific for children with disabilities, educational events, parenting classes, playgroups, and more! 

Some events going on now include: 

Ready to Learn Workshop

Mommy and Me Playgroup

Welcome Baby Playgroup

Siblings Helping Siblings Support Group for children with Autism and siblings.

Events coming soon:

Freedom Festival Baby Contest, June 1st

Handwriting Classes, beginning June 18th

Summer Social Skills Groups for children with Autism, beginning June 10th.

& more.

Check out the calendar for more details.

Here's a snapshot of what the calendar looks like... 

Click here to access calendar.

What other events have you heard about?

If you would like your program's event to be included, please contact us. 

Infant ReAction! and Swaddling Techniques

Why is it that sometimes infants are startled by loud noises, and start screaming, while other times they don’t react more than a slight movement of their feet or head?  Imagine if you as an adult could not ignore all the noises and stimuli around you, you would never be able to get anything done! And if babies cannot shut out their surroundings, they never will be able to find peace and quiet!  

Dr. Brazelton, an expert on child development, has developed a Neonatal Behavioral Assessment that is often used right after birth to test infant reaction and habituation abilities. From birth, most infants have an ability to regulate their internal nervous system to find balance even when the outside environment is overly active for an infant.  Listen to Dr. Brazleton demonstrate some of the things he does to test an infant’s ability to habituate, using a light, a rattle and a bell. 

So what can we do as parents to help our infants find comfort in their environment? 

One great way is to wrap your baby in a swaddle.

When babies are born, they are not used to having so much space around them. Often they feel uncomfortable and are unable to calm themselves. One way to help them find comfort and sleep well is by wrapping them up in a blanket so as to imitate the environment in their mother's womb. The following video clip shows two different ways to swaddle your child. 

Remember, ALWAYS lay your newborn on her back to sleep!

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What techniques do you use to comfort your infant?

Sources:  Brazelton, T. B. Touchpoints: The Essential Reference (1992)

Tips for Stress-Free Family Dinners

We've never done a dinner blog post before, but we think guest post has some good tips! Enjoy!

When you have kids, simple things like getting dinner on the table can seem downright impossible. Luckily, there are steps you can take to make dinnertime a little less stressful. The following tips can help you feel confident about mealtime so you can spend less time in the kitchen and more time with your family:

·         Meal plan each week

Spend some time on Saturday or Sunday coming up with dinner ideas for the week. Knowing what you’re going to make ahead of time will save you lots of stress during the week.

·         Take pantry inventories

Regularly check your pantry to be aware of what you have and what you need. Knowing what you have on hand can help prevent last minute scrambling or grocery runs.

·         Cook more than you need

Cooking in large batches means you’ll have lots of leftovers, which are great to save for nights when you need an easy dinner to reheat.

·         Use precut frozen foods for shortcuts

Having precut fruits and veggies in your freezer can save you a lot of time making dinner. Instead of having to chop, slice and dice, you can simply toss in whatever frozen produce you need.

·         Clean as you go

Instead of saving dishes for later, clean your pots and pans as you cook. This way, you won’t have to spend as much time scrubbing dishes at the sink after dinner.

This Asian Chicken Noodle Bowl is one of those easy chicken recipes that’s perfect for a busy weeknight; it can be on the table in 25 minutes, so you can prepare dinner stress-free.

Quick Weeknight Recipe: Asian Chicken Noodle Bowl

Total Time: 25 min

Serves: 7

·         1 9 oz pkg refrigerated linguine, uncooked

·         PAM® Original No-Stick Cooking Spray

·         1 pound boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into 1-inch pieces

·         2 cups frozen bell pepper and onion strips

·         2 cups frozen sugar snap peas

·         3/4 cup water

·         1/2 cup Peter Pan® Creamy Peanut Butter

·         1/2 cup La Choy® Teriyaki Stir Fry Sauce-Marinade

·         2 tablespoons lime juice

Cook linguine according to package directions, omitting salt. Drain and return to pan.

Meanwhile, spray a 12-inch nonstick skillet with cooking spray; heat over medium-high heat. Add chicken and cook for 5 to 7 minutes or until no longer pink, stirring occasionally. Add vegetables and cook for 4-6 minutes or until crisp tender. Move to side of skillet.

Add remaining ingredients to skillet and stir to blend. Move chicken and vegetables into sauce and stir until coated. Pour chicken over linguine and toss to coat.

Author Bio: This is a guest post by Meredith K. on behalf of ReadySetEat®. For easy recipes for dinner and other cooking tips, visit www.readyseteat.com. 

Cherish the moments with Daddy

Was one of your baby’s first words “dada” and not “mama”?  Don’t worry moms, first of all, because forming the “da” sound is more likely to be formed before “ma” in young infants.  Check out our post for more on language development. Secondly, dad's play a very important role in children's development, and just maybe, an infant saying "dada" first, may be an expression of understanding this principle.

As I was talking with my dad he other day, I thought about the impact my relationship with him has had on my life.  As a young child, I remember many nights falling asleep to bedtime stories he created, and as a youth I spent almost every Saturday with him in the backyard or at the ballpark.

 Research shows the importance of fatherhood involvement especially in the lives of young children in areas of higher language skills and higher academic achievement. Children also learn the importance of play and exploration in unique ways when their father is present. 

Today we've highlighted some hints for dads, found in the Welcome Baby manual, to help them cherish this relationship and to become more involved with their growing children.

If you're a dad, what kinds of activities do you try to make happen with your kids? Or what does your husband, or father do with your children to cherish precious moments?

"A father’s role is different but just as important in the development of healthy children in today’s world."

Hints for Daddys

• Be involved in your child’s care and life. Give them time!
• Most babies will cry a lot. Keep your cool and NEVER shake a baby!
• Dance, rock, or gently bounce your baby to calm and soothe him.
• Wrapping a baby snugly in a blanket is soothing. (Remember to leave arms and hands free).
• Take a walk or drive to calm your baby.
• Read and talk to your baby. Children love the sound of your voice.
• Pay attention to mom and find ways to compromise about child care.
• Learn to communicate your feelings and listen. Understanding is a must.
• Remember that parenting is a partnership, you both are responsible for your baby.
• Get comfortable with all aspects of caring for your child, even changing dirty diapers. You will develop a closeness with your baby and ease the burden of your partner.
• Remember to take time for mom and dad to be together. Wait until the baby is asleep and spend some time together.
• Taking care of the baby is just as stressful as a day in the office. Relieve mom when you come home.
• Try to stay on your child’s timetable, he will respond much better.
• Play with your baby. Your baby needs your special insight and full attention.
• The greatest thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.

Just as a reminder, Partners for Infants and Children offers a Conscious Fathering class for soon-tobe/new fathers every other month. Our next meeting is March 30th. Click here to register.

"A father’s role is different but just as important in the development

of healthy children in today’s world."

Catch the Reading Bug in Salt Lake

Help Me Grow (HMG) has attended a ton of library events lately! We've been crisscrossing Salt Lake County, going from story time to power play to get HMG into the community. All this library time has us thinking a lot about emergent literacy and cognitive development. Meaning, we've gotten pretty interested in how babies and toddlers start to associate with books before ever entering a classroom, and those initial feeling can turn out pretty important when they’re learning to read.

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Good experiences with books, like just swinging a board book around and giggling, can affect your kids as much as a bad experience, like being scolded for trying to grab the book that mom is reading to him (Zero to Three). So, literacy’s not just about learning to read. It starts with being able to associate books with good feelings.

And guess how many ways there are to have fun building those good associations!? Just for starters, HMG has an info sheet dedicated to giving parents ideas to try while reading (seen below).

But of course, that’s not all our community has to offer.

Visit your local bookstore and see if there are any children’s authors visiting. What could be neater than finding a great book and meeting the person responsible in the same day? The Kings English Bookstore in Salt Lake City is hosting a children’s author Craig Farmer tomorrow (Saturday, February 23) at 11:00 a.m. If you can’t make it to that, they've got more author visits in March.

Not in the mood for going out? Visit the State Library website for activities involving talking, singing, reading, writing and playing with your kids to support literacy. You can also start tracking the amount of reading you do with your kids through KSL’s Read Today program. Make it a game to try an beat your highest number of minutes spent reading month to month!

Keep an eye on the Governor’s Commission on Literacy for great recommendations about which book to pick next. The Governor’s Commission on Literacy picks books that have been donated to school libraries across the state. If you’re not quite to the school library system yet,  take a look at the Salt Lake County Library website to find a library and story time near you!

How do you try to support literacy with your kids?

Apps save lives!! Do you have an app for that?

Let’s be honest. Isn't that the question these days? And amazingly enough, there really IS always an “app for that”. It constantly amazes me. Incredible tools are available, not just with mobile apps, but also through social media tools, software, and other devices. Recently, I've found some extremely useful apps all along the spectrum. Here are a few that might be helpful to you as parents.

The first one was starts with this amazing story shared in multiple news publications back in 2010. The CNN article records, “Alone in the darkness beneath layers of rubble, Dan Woolley felt blood streaming from his head and leg. Then he remembered -- he had an app for that. Woolley, an aid worker, husband, and father of two boys, followed instructions on his cell phone to survive the January 12 earthquake in Haiti.” (Read article here)

Amazing!!

The app is produced by the American Heart Association and has over 30 instructional videos and illustrations to educate individuals on CPR and First Aid. Click here for more info.

A second app, is almost as incredible when it comes to survival techniques. This app helps parents survive the inevitable period of potty training. My little niece was successfully potty trained, but when her little brother was born, she had a little set back and started having accidents again. I think its going to be a long haul for my sister.  Someone had told us about a potty training app and when I showed it to my sister and my niece, she fell IN LOVE with it and whenever I’m visiting, tells me that she wants to play the Potty Training Memory Game. No really. EVERYtime i'm there. And she makes sure to tell me that she's potty trained. If you need a good laugh, just to their website and watch their video. You’ll love it. And now, you’ll be able to survive potty training too!


The third app to share is from one of my favorite books called Press Here by Henre Tullet. One of the funnest, interactive books ever! Written for preschool ages, it teaches them how to interact with a book and learn directions, movements shapes and colors. Its unreasonably fun for a 28 year old. (I shouldn't admit that…) The app takes you through similar games that the book has and is really colorful and visually stimulating. Honestly, a great baby shower gift! The book and the app together! Perfect.

So whether you need help at you're scuba diving, taking wedding pictures, recording your gas mileage – just know that resources abound. There’s got to be an app for that!

What are your favorite apps that you use? Share the golden nuggets of technology with us!

"Ouch Charlie that really hurt!"

Babies sometimes do things that may seem aggressive, like pulling hair, biting and hitting. This doesn't mean that they are doing it to hurt or annoy you and it's not uncommon. Young children are still learning to understand and control their feelings as well as figuring out which words communicate their thoughts.

 Frustration and aggression can be the result from many diverse situations, for example:

• A toddler who doesn't get his/her way
• When a child isn't expecting a transition to a new activity and they're focused on something else
• When they have everything they want and someone tries to take it
• Recent changes in their lives (new baby, parent on a business trip, new school year, potty training,etc.)

These situations are hard and there isn't one right answer. You, as the parent know your child the best and know their limits. The following links are helpful to you as you try to understand why your child is feeling angry or frustrated and acting out. The Zero To Three website has more information on behavior and development and information on temperament. 

Another great way to keep track of your child's behavior and development is through the  Ages and Stages Questionnaire!

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Here are some tips from Zero To Three website; to help teach your child how to cope with aggression and learn self control in the early years. 

• Stay calm:  The calmer you are, the more quickly your child will calm down.   

• Recognize your child’s feeling or goal:  "You want to stay longer at the playground, and are mad we have to leave.  It’s okay to be mad, but it is not okay to hit mommy. Hitting hurts".

• Use gestures along with your words to communicate with your toddler:  Use a calm, firm (not angry) voice.  At the same time, use a “stop” or “no-no” gesture. 

• Offer alternatives:  Give your child acceptable ways to reach his goal.  Instead of throwing balls in the house, offer your child a soft sponge ball to toss inside, or take him outside for “pitching” practice.

• Try a distraction:  Ignore your child’s tantrum and instead, do something she doesn't expect: point to a bird outside, start to read a book she loves, or pick up an interesting toy and start to play with it. 

• Suggest ways to manage strong emotions:  When your child is really angry, suggest that he jump up and down, kick a ball, rip paper, cuddle with a teddy bear or use some other strategy that you feel is appropriate.  This teaches your child to express strong feelings in healthy, non-hurtful ways.  

• Help your child take a break:  Some children calm more quickly when they can be by themselves in a safe, quiet place.  It helps children learn to soothe themselves and regain control.  When your child pulls herself together, tell her what a good job she did calming herself down. 

If you would like an Ages and Stages Questionnaire that focuses on your child's Social and Emotional development, please call 2-1-1 and ask for Help Me Grow.