Does Birth Order Impact Parenting and Child Development?

If you grew up with siblings or have multiple children, you probably understand the major effect that birth order has on family dynamics. We all know the stereotypes about how oldest, middle, and youngest children likely behave and what their place in the family means about their future achievement and success. Everyone probably has a story about how they were impacted by older or younger siblings and how they were treated differently by their parents. I could probably write a book on my opinion and experiences with birth order and family dynamics (middle child here!), but I really wondered how much birth order impacts a child’s development and the way parents interact with their children.

Imaginary Play

We all remember the fun days playing with our friends when we were younger. Whether it was playing “House” or “School” or even being a Chef in a fancy restaurant. What we didn’t realize at this young age while having fun, is that pretend play boasts important benefits for a child’s development! The beloved Mr. Rogers said, “Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children, play IS serious learning.”

Guest Post: Preparing Your Home for Parenthood When You Live with a Disability

Nesting is the act of preparing one’s home for the arrival of a new baby or child. Typically, nesting involves things such as painting a nursery, buying a crib, baby-proofing the house, and making sure everything is as clean as possible as the due date approaches. However, when you are a parent living with a disability, your nesting process is generally more intense.

How to Teach Children Honesty

It can be surprising, frustrating, and worrisome when your child first lies to you. It can also be really hard to know how to respond! Lying is actually a normal and necessary part of a child’s development. Though parents should teach their children to be honest from a young age, they shouldn’t be too concerned when their child begins to tell lies, because it’s a normal part of childhood that every child goes through.

Child Nutrition

As your children grow, their bodies and nutritional needs change! The rates their bodies are growing change, and this correlates to their hunger and nutritional needs. After about two years old, a slowing down in the rate of physical growth comes with a reduced appetite. Each child is different and needs different amounts of nutrients to keep them healthy. How much they need to eat also depends on their level of physical activity and their metabolic rate.

In the past few years, the number of overweight children has increased. The most recent data from 2016 states that 26% of children 2-5 years old were overweight and 14% were considered obese. Recent studies have found that if a child is overweight in preschool, chances are they are going to stay that way into adulthood. There are many factors that play into childhood obesity, but ultimately is does come down to diet and exercise.

Talking to Children about Sexual Assault

With all of the stories in the news recently about sexual assault against children, taking time to talk to your children about what sexual assault is, signs of sexual assault, and other information is more important than ever! Children need accurate and age-appropriate information about child sexual abuse and confidence that adults they know will support them. Here are some ways and guidance for addressing the issue in a conversation with your child to make sure they understand and are aware of the danger.

Imagination Play: Abracadabra

Recently my 3 year old nephew came to visit.  He had a magic wand that he wanted me to play with with him. I'm pretty sure if we had the time, he would have spent hours with me playing with it.  His favorite was to turn me into a kitty and then back into myself while chasing me around the house.  How fun it is to see the imagination of young children. 

5 Ways for Your Family to Give Back This Season!

The holiday season is full of joy, happiness, and giving! It is a time to come together with your friends and families and reflect on the year and enjoy quality time together. Kids are excited about the gifts they will receive and parents are excited to buy them for their little ones! In between all the holiday parties, programs at school, and family obligations, it can be hard to remember that it is also a time for our families to give back to those less fortunate. Here are some easy ways to give back to your community this season while spending some quality time with your family!

Children's Book Spotlight: Snowmen At Night

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Winter is a time of snowball fights, snow angels, sledding, and building snowmen.  When I was younger, and even now, I have many happy memories spent playing outside in the snow.  In fact, on Thanksgiving I was out with my nephews building our first snowman of the season.  But by the next day, he didn't look quite the same.  How could he change so much in just a few hours?  That is why I chose to spotlight Snowmen At Night by Caralyn Buehner.  (For more fun picture books by Caralyn Buehner, go here.)

Child Led Play = Learning

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to attend the Southern Utah Early Childhood Collaboration Conference in Cedar City.  Denita Dinger was invited to be the guest speaker and she shared a lot of good information about the importance of child-led open ended play.  Below is a list of words she shared that is the "Important Stuff" found in play...

Asking	Discriminating	Kicking	Pretending	Trying
Comparing	Deciphering	Leading	Questioning	Testing
Compromising	Exploring	Laughing	Reasoning	Tracking
Compassion	Expressing	Loving	Rationing	Understanding
Control	Failing	Manipulating	Relationships	Visualizing
Comprehending	Grabbing	Moving	Realizing	Volunteering
Collaborating	Grasping	Mimicking	Running	Walking
Causing	Giving	Observing	Rolling	Waiting
Challenging	Hopping	Objecting	Role Playing	Watching
Creating	Holding	Organizing	Showing	Wondering
Climbing	Imagining	Planning	Struggling
Crawling	Investigating	Participating	Succeeding
Coordinating	Joking	Practicing	Strengthening
Discovering	Jumping	Polishing	Solving

And there are many more words that could be used to describe children's play!  Isn't it amazing all the different things your child can learn through play?

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Denita went on to share five tips when it comes to open play:

1. Control your Stuff.  You must know what stuff you have and where it is so you can grab it at any time.  As children are playing and learning, they may ask for something to add to their play that will also expand their learning and you need to know where to find it!  
2. Plopper! Plopper (noun):  Anything that is placed in a child's environment with zero adult direction, demonstration or expectation.  Giving your child a new item and allowing them to explore different ways to play with it is a great way for them to learn.  Avoid showing them how to use it.  
3. Stellar Reactor.  By allowing your child to lead the play, they will try different "wonder if" techniques.  Allow your child to explore and try different methods.  By doing so, they learn how to react to problems and conflicts
4. Tongue Biter!  This is the hardest one for adults.  It would be so easy for us to swoop in and solve any problem that comes up.  Like said in #2, plop and then step back.  Allow your child to discover a method that works for them.  Don't try and show them the "correct" way.
5. Dissector of Play.  Observe your child while they play.  Do you see what they are doing?  They are learning!  Now's the time for you to sit back and enjoy watching your children play.

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What kinds of things do you like to give your kids to play with during open play time?

-Jodi

Introducing a New Sibling

Is a new addition coming to your family in the future? Parents often worry about how to tell an older sibling that another child is on the way and whether or not the children will get along. Here are some tips to make the transition smooth for your older child and ensure that they and the new baby feel welcomed and loved.

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• Keep in mind the age of your first child. If you tell a toddler too early they may forget or become confused. 
• If your other child is older, tell them a few months prior to the babies arrival. Let them help you prepare the nursery by folding clothes, stacking diapers or even picking out an old toy they want to share with their new sibling. 
• Take your son or daughter to the store to pick out a gift they can wrap and give to the new baby. 
• Get a baby doll for you child to take care of. When you feed the baby have her feed her doll beside you. He can take the doll for walks or even change its diaper when you change the baby's. This helps teach them how to help care for their own sibling in addition to feeling included.

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• Spend a lot of time with your toddler or child before and after the new addition arrives. Make sure they still feel loved and that mom and dad still have time for them.
• Let your other children help feed the baby once they are comfortable. This gives them responsibility and helps them feel included.
• Reassure your older child that having a sibling is fun! There might be lots of crying now, but once the baby is older they can play, read and have lots of fun.
• Listen to their concerns and try to answer any questions they may have. It is normal for siblings to be apprehensive or scared about changes.
• You can find some more helpful hints about birth order and sibling rivalry at Parenting.com. The Mayo Clinic also offers some advice on how to introduce a new sibling.

Do you have any tips for making the transition to big brother or big sister? Let us know what you did to prepare your kids for a younger sibling.

Teaching Children the Value of Money

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Growing up, my family didn't have a lot of money.  We didn't have all the best toys and the most fashionable clothes.  During elementary school, I was used to wearing my sisters hand-me-downs.  For me, that was how it was and I didn't know any different.  My parents did all they could to provide for us and we were happy.

For young children, it can be very difficult to understand the cost of goods.  They don't understand the difference between the cost of their favorite treat and their favorite toy.  Children need to learn the value of money at a young age.  Author of Kids and Money: Giving them Savvy to Succeed Financially, Jayne A. Pearl said, "It's actually easy to teach kids about money.  Turn your day-to-day activities into learning experiences."  Teach your children how to identify coins and dollars.  With play money, they can have fun and use their imagination in playing store and restaurant by exchanging goods for money.

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Paul S. Richard (Institute of Consumer Financial Education's Executive Director) shares 18 Ways for Children or Grandchildren to Learn the Value of Money:

• As soon as children can count, introduce them to money.  Take an active role because repetition and observing others are the two methods they learn by
• Help children learn the difference between needs, wants and wishes.  This will prepare them for making good spending decisions in the future.
• Allow young people to make spending decisions, both good and poor, and then encourage a discussion of pros and cons before more spending takes place.
• When giving children an allowance for income, give the money in denominations that encourages saving.  For example if the amount is $5, give out five $1 bills and encourage at least one be set aside in savings.

To see more of the 18 tips, go here.

Children also need to learn how to save their own money to purchase the things they want.  For a fun activity book for young children to learn from, go here. 

Guest Post: Early Intervention in Real Life

Early intervention (EI) programs are becoming more and more popular each day in the United States. More parents are turning with relief to the answers and growth that comes to their family and child from these programs. Yet so much is still not understood about EI, leaving children that could be benefited so much without it's services. 

We are excited to have Heather Waters, the Early Intervention Director from Kids on the Move, guest posting with us today as she shares her early intervention experience! 

"As the current Director of a local Early Intervention program, I have had the unique opportunity to both deliver and receive early intervention services from Kids on the Move.  In 2001-2002 I had the pleasure of enrolling in early intervention and receiving monthly services from a Development Specialist to support my twin daughters, Baylie and Kylie, with their language development and challenges with self-regulation.

Although many commonly mistake early intervention as a program designed solely to support families of children with diagnosed medical conditions, early intervention also exists to enhance the growth and development of those experiencing developmental delays (as determined by assessment).  Early intervention services minimize the need for special education and related services after infants and toddlers reach school age. A primary objective of early intervention is to enhance the capacity and capabilities of families to meet the needs of their child throughout the lifespan.

In 2014, 15% of children that exited from early intervention at Kids on the Move did so because they demonstrated age-appropriate functioning in all areas of development. It was a very bittersweet experience when my daughters were deemed developmentally age-appropriate and thus required to exit from services prior to the age of three. My family looked forward to the monthly visits and participation in center-based services. The support rendered on behalf of my family built my confidence as a parent and provided me with the additional resources needed to increase their expressive language skills and better-manage their sensory needs.

As a graduate of the program, I am a strong proponent of early intervention. If you have any concerns about your child’s development, contacting your local early intervention agency is a logical next step. The evaluation is administered free of charge. If eligible, the services you receive are parent-driven and primarily delivered in the convenience of your own home. Early Intervention is not a program that provides official mental or medical diagnoses’. It’s not uncommon for parents to be concerned about their child being labeled or the perceptions of friends, family, and neighbors if early intervention services are accessed. I, too had similar concerns. What helped me make the decision to seek an evaluation was my desire to provide my girls with opportunities and experiences similar to their same-age, typically developing peers.  I so very much wanted them to communicate like other toddlers their age and I knew I needed additional support to accomplish this goal.

When Baylie and Kylie graduated, they were both speaking in complete sentences with clear articulation! And, if I can brag a little they both transitioned into kindergarten reading on a 2^nd grade level!! The research supports improved outcomes for children and families enrolled in early intervention and I attest that it’s a program that will make a lasting, positive impact on your child and family!"


What are your success stories from early intervention?

So You Want to Start Your Own Playgroup?

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Play is a key part of developing a child's social, mental, physical and emotional development. Said Jean Piaget, a notable theorist in the Child Development field, "Play is the work of children." 

Unbeknownst to so many that stacking colored blocks beside their friend or pretending to be mermaids as they splash with the hose was such an important moment in their education. Play provides endless opportunities for children to test the world around them, including the people in it. When children are able to play with other children their age the play is even more productive as they reach slightly past those things that they have yet to master and practice them. Allowing children to play regularly with their same-age peers will further all aspects of their development in real ways.

Playgroups provide exactly this kind of play. But not every community or neighborhood offers them. So what is a parent to do? Start their own! The steps are simple and the results are profound!

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1. Set the Parameters.  First determine the when, where and how. Decide whether playgroup will be held once a week, every other week, once a month, etc. Also determine what time of day your group will be, this could be before naps, in the afternoon, or when ever works for your group. Lastly choose a location for your group. This can be at your home, trading off homes, at a park or local meeting area. 

2. Pick the Players. The success of your play group is largely defined by who comes to play. Ideal play groups are made up of 4-6 children in the same age range and a balanced mix of boys and girls. Play group is also for more than just the children, so invite children with whom their parents you mesh with through similar lifestyles and parenting ideals.

3. Establish the Ground Rules. As a group determine the ground rules on toys, snacks, clean-up and communication. Decide what toys will be provided, i.e. blocks, games or dramatic play items that children can play with as a group or individual play items. Make a decision for whether snacks will be included, and if so who will provide them. One way that works well is a sort of BYOB rule where B stands for bananas of course. Clean-up rules can be sticky, especially if the group is held in one members home. Decide if you will confine the group to one room in the house, the backyard or if the whole house is free-reign. Lastly decide how your group will share information. Some ways that work well are group text messages, email or a Facebook page.

4. Test the Waters. The last step comes after the first few playgroups and that is to test the waters as you go. Determine if your time of day is conducive to all the children, the length of your playgroup can be shortened or lengthened, and how often you hold playgroup. Discuss with the other parents these topics and come to a decision as a group. As the one who's spearheaded the group however you are the final decision maker and communicator.

Though the set up of your playgroup requires a little time and thought, once you have your playgroup established there's only fun and games ahead. 

Steps from What to Expect.

Welcome Baby also has some Playgroup Lesson Plans that you can use with your kids. There are generic lesson ideas, special Holiday lesson plans, and all plans are for ages 1-5.
No matter what you choose to do, have fun!

Wide Open Library Doors in Utah County

Wake up.

Cheerios soon cover the floor.

Puzzle pieces add to the spread.

Load up in the van for a mad dash to the store for diapers.

Ham and cheese sandwich for lunch.

Flip through the same pages you did yesterday, and the day before that.

Finally he is napping and you attempt the marathon of your to-do list.

Fold laundry "together."

Dinner quickly comes and goes.

The family game night quickly turns to wreckage.

Bathes, bubbles and down for bed.

Repeat.

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No one will argue that parenting is the most important work that a parent can do but the day-to-day parts of parenting can easily become mundane and repetitious. 

If there was just something that allowed you and yours to get out of the house every now and again to do something new that you both enjoyed with real people who eat ham and cheese sandwiches as often as you do!

   Utah has done just that. Local libraries all over Utah allocate large sums of funding, volunteers and hours to provide children and their families with activities that encourage early literacy, social skills, community interaction, parent-child relationships, and creativity. These resources are available to any parent who simply walks through their local library doors.

   In the Utah County area alone there are more than 15 city libraries, each with their own children's programs. A simple internet search can connect parents with a long list of activities for their children to attend on nearly any given day day of the week! 

   This month at the local Provo library just around the corner from our United Way office there are endless engaging children's activities just waiting to be attended! Those activities will be listed here but if you live somewhere outside of the Provo area don't hesitate to find your local library by following this link & searching with your ZIP code. 

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At the Provo City Library each week their Kid's Program hosts:

• Book Babies. Every Friday at 10:00 am for children ages 0-12 months. This hour has age-appropriate stories, songs and finger-plays for babies and their caregivers.
• Spanish Story Time. Every Monday at 6:30 pm & Friday at 10:30 am. Music, stories and crafts for Spanish speaking children and their caregivers.
• Early Literacy Parent & Child Workshops. Every Monday at 10:00 am for children ages 2-3 years. This hour has hands-on activities that encourage literacy and reading readiness. Pre-registration is necessary, and can be completed here.
• Library Kids Jr. & Sr. Every Thursday from 4:15 pm-5:00 pm for children ages 5-8 years (Library Kids Jr.) and 8-12 years (Library Kids Sr.). Exciting book and literacy based crafts and activities, pre-register your child for Library Kids Jr. here and for Library Kids Sr. here. 
• Toddler Time. Every Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday at 10:15 am and Friday at 11:15 am. For children ages 1-2 years old and their caregivers with lots of fun through story time, songs and finger play.
• Preschool Time. Every Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday at 10:00 am and 11:00 am for children ages 3-5 years old and able to separate from their caregivers. Prepares children for school readiness through social interactions with stories, finger plays and songs.

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As well as these weekly activities there are also regular monthly activities:

• Mother-Daughter Book Club on the last Tuesday of each month at 7:00 pm for girls ages 9-12 years old and their mothers. At this event, discussion of an assigned popular chapter book is followed by a craft and light refreshment. If interested, pre-register here.
• Mother-Son Book Cub on the last Wednesday of the month at 7:00 pm for boys ages 9-12 years old and their mothers. At this event, discussion of an assigned popular chapter book is followed by a craft and light refreshment. If interested, pre-register here.
• On the firt Saturday of each month there is Special Needs Story Time for children ages 5-8 years old who have special needs. Story and presentation cater to the needs of children with autism who respond best to low sound and soft light. Pre-register by calling the Children's Desk at (801) 852-6682. 

This list of events is just the beginning, there are also a myriad of teen and adults events hosted each month! To stay up-to-date on all of these events, follow this events calendar.

So many in our community do so much to try to ease the parent's heavy load of caring for and teaching their children. The local libraries here in Utah County are some of those places and are waiting with open doors for the community's families to walk in and learn together.

Traveling With Little Ones

With Thanksgiving and Christmas just around the corner, many of you will be traveling to spend the holidays with your friends and families. Whether you are traveling to your destination by car or airplane, taking an infant or small child with you can be stressful. Here are some helpful tips to keep your stress levels down and help you have a relaxing journey.

Tips for traveling by car

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• One of the most important things you can do before you leave on your trip is to make sure your baby's car seat is properly installed. Guidelines for Utah can be found here.
• Plan to leave around the time your child usually takes a nap. This will ensure that your baby gets her sleep. 
• An extra rear view mirror can give you an extra set of eyes when traveling alone. You can also travel with another adult or an older child who can be an extra set of hands while on the road. 
• Bring a baby/small child specific first aid kit. A few examples of things that you can put inside include medicines, diaper rash cream, a thermometer, tweezers and a list of your child's doctors, allergies, and medical records. 
• Pack a cooler full of snacks, baby food or breast milk and pre-filled sippy cups that can be grabbed easily. 
• When it's time to feed your baby pull over and take him out of the car seat to avoid choking 
• Avoid medications, drinks or food that might cause you to drive impaired. Don't drive if you are tired.

Tips for traveling by airplane

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• Schedule your flight around your baby's sleeping schedule. It is likely that he will sleep through the flight and you might be able to catch up on some rest.
• Know your airline's rules about car seats and strollers. Most likely you will have to leave the stroller at the gate and some airlines require you to keep your child in your lap rather than his/her own seat (depending on age).
• Pick an aisle seat. If your baby is fussy or needs to be changed you can get in and out at your convenience. If you are traveling with another adult consider sitting across the aisle from each other rather than next to each other. 
• Keep your ID readily available. If flying internationally make sure your baby has a passport.
• Diaper bag:
• Be armed with an arsenal of activities for your child. these can include coloring books, toys, stickers, a tablet with games or movies, picture books, etc. Keep items that you will need often at your feet. Sometimes turbulence will keep you in your seat the entire flight and having items readily accessible will be helpful,
• Giving your child a pacifier or something to eat at the beginning of the flight can combat the pressure that may build in your baby's ears.

Transportation Security Administration (TSA) screening requirements for babies and children can be found here

Bonus Tip: pack your little ones clothing in gallon sized Ziploc bags. You can bag by outfit and have everything your little one needs right in one place. No more digging around your bag or forgetting things at home

What tips do you have for traveling with infants or small children?

Autism Awareness

 Autism. It’s a word we hear a lot, and often with mixed emotions. In fact, it makes sense, because 1 in 68 children nationally are diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, making it the most prevalent childhood disorder in the U.S. (CDC 2014). It’s no wonder as a care coordinator that I get calls from concerned parents as to where to go for help.

I’m over-simplifying it, but children with autism typically have delays in language and social interactions. Here are some early indicators that your child may have autism (keep in mind that 1 or 2 from this list may not be indicative of a concern, but the more your child has, the more you may want to check it out):

·         No babbling or pointing by age 1

·         No single words by 16 months or two-word phrases by age 2

·         No response to his/ her name

·         Loss of language or social skills

·         Poor eye contact

·         Excessive lining up of toys or objects

·         No smiling or social responsiveness

·         Difficulty with engaging

·         Does not seem to enjoy or seek interactions with others

Source: http://www.autismcenter.org/autism-defined

If you’re concerned, visit with your doctor. He/she can administer an MCHAT which is a simple screening tool for autism. From there, you may want to seek an assessment or evaluation. Help Me Grow can find community resources appropriate for your child from assessments to evaluations to treatments and information along the way. 

Fall into Fun with the Family!

Fall is right around the corner! In just a couple more days you can officially start enjoying all of your favorite fall traditions.Fall is my absolute favorite season. The leaves are changing colors, the weather is starting to get cooler, football season has just started, and I can start getting ready for my favorite holiday: Halloween. It doesn't get much better than that! 

It is also the prime season for family fun. Here are some ideas for you and your family to do together this season:

• Visit a pumpkin patch and have fun picking out the perfect pumpkin for your family

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• Have fun exploring a corn maze or going on a hayride. You can find a pumpkin patch or corn maze that is close to your home by visiting this website.

• The weather is beautiful; enjoy being outside and go on a family bike ride or hike

• Make a bird feeder. All you need to do is cover a pine cone in peanut butter, and then have your child roll the pine cone in birdseed. Hang it outside near a window and enjoy watching the birds come eat off of it.

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• Pumpkin chocolate chip cookies are my favorite treat to eat in the fall. If you love pumpkin just as much as I do try one of these other delicious pumpkin recipes.

• Go on a Fall Nature Photo Scavenger Hunt with your children

• Create apple prints or leaf rubbings

                                     

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• Have a camp-out in your own backyard and make s’mores

• Take a trip to an orchard and go apple picking

• Make this yummy smelling pumpkin pie play dough for your children to play with

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• Bob for apples. Afterwards, you can make these tasty caramel apples!

• Jump in a big pile of leaves and take lots of pictures!

• Take a drive through the canyon and look at all the beautiful colors

                                     

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• If you are like me and eager for Halloween, get in the holiday spirit by watching one of these not so scary Halloween movies or reading one of  these  fun, Halloween books.

There are so many other fun activities to do and places to visit during the fall! What’s your favorite fall family tradition?