August Aspire Parent Group Recap

I can tell by the increase in traffic in the early mornings and mid-afternoons that school is back in session!  And now as you are trying to get your kids back into a routine of "early to bed and early to rise"... how many times have they thrown a fit in the past couple weeks?  

With all this transitioning, it is likely that each child is going through some personal anxieties that often lash out in the form of a temper tantrum, and it may even occur in the aisle of a grocery store.  It can be embarrassing for mom or dad as child is suddenly pounding the floor kicking and screaming.  

Last week at our Aspire Parent Group in Utah County, our parent champion Janae Moss led a discussion about temper tantrums. Here's what we discussed:

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Common causes of a temper tantrum...

Feeling tired

Being pushed beyond the limit

Wanting attention and not getting it

Feeling jealous (of another child, friend, etc.)

Wanting to communicate but can't or don't know how to 

How do our Aspire Parents deal with their child's tantrums?

Wait for child to calm down and then discuss the situation
Let the child pick the consequences for their behavior
Validate the child's feelings 
Distract the child with something else and redirect their attention 
Teach child what is/ not appropriate
Mimic the child's behavior (the child may stop fussing when they realize how ridiculous they look)
Ignore the child - walk away when they are acting out
Take away a favorite toy
Put the toy in time out
Read books about emotions such as Little Miss Sunshine - (the characters discuss their feelings)

You can dial 2-1-1 and ask for Help me Grow for more child development information.  We are available to help you with ideas and support!

Parenting is no easy task. The most important thing is to make sure that your child knows you love him. Come to our next ASPIRE Parent Group to discuss parenting tips with moms in the community. It is held the third Wednesday of each month at the Utah County Health Department in Provo. It starts at 11:15 am and a light lunch will be provided. If you would like to be added to the email invite list, please contact Deborah with Help Me Grow

Building Family Unity

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It’s that time of year again; back to school! With school back in session comes the after school extracurricular activities. Football practice, dance classes, piano lessons; you might be thinking “How am I going to keep my family together with every one going in different directions!?”  Here are 4 tips my mom used on her own kids in order to build unity within our family.

1.       Listen to each other: Listening is one of the most powerful ways to show someone you care. Make special efforts to actively listen to your children whether they’re expressing their fears, goals, achievements, or just babbling. Listening and responding when appropriate allows a feeling of understanding as well as a connection to be made between the listener and the speaker.

2.       Share responsibilities: Help your family to understand that they are each part of a team. Let your children know what you expect from each of them when assigning chores or small tasks around the house. Allow them to feel responsible and help them to understand how their contribution affects the family.

3.       Establish routines: There is a sense of safety found in routines. Though not everything you do needs to be part of your family’s routine, things such as dinner time and bedtime, especially for young children should be consistent.

4.       Have fun! Spend time having fun with your family. Set aside time at least once a month to do something out of the ordinary with your family. But don’t worry, whatever you do does not have to cost lots of money or be something extravagant. Something as simple as a hike, a picnic in the park, or a trip to a local museum would work. The idea is to be spending time playing with your family which will help strengthen the family unity and allow your children to realize that being part of a team isn’t just about working together, but also playing together.

For fun family events going on in Utah check here and here.

1, 2, 3... Counting down the days

Are you counting down the days until school starts? Do your kids know that school will be starting up again soon?
Transitioning back into the daily routine can be challenging for most kids.  I still call myself a kid, and I am currently in a huge transition, this time it is getting out of college... I will be graduating in three days!! I am almost counting down the minutes!!

For more tips on transitions check out our previous post on transitioning and back to school preparation.

As you are mentally wishing the days would pass quicker, take this opportunity to teach your children to count with you, and get them excited about starting school again!!

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Here are some tips for teaching your kids to count:

1. Use a calendar to have your kids help you count down how many days are left until school starts. 

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2. Make a paper chain (click here for instructions)
3. Count items around the house. Have your kids count the items they pick up after play.
4. Make a counting book. Dr. Seuss inspires kids to count!  One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish
5. Play hopscotch outside on the driveway

Check out  justmommies.com for more ideas!

Hungry for Parenting Tips? Check out these MommyBites

MommyBites, get it? bites! mommies who are hungry for parenting?! Yeah, I thought it was clever. Probably not.

Anyway! I was looking over the interwebs and found this great blog/website called MommyBites.com. It looks to have a ton of resources. And they seem to be quite reliable. I wanted to share this great resource they had - FREE Online Parenting Classes! Lets be real, parents are constantly hearing about new ideas, receiving suggestions of what to try, and being told when is the appropriate age to potty train. Some of it is helpful, and some isn't. You're the parent, you decide. We can learn a lot from each other, but we (parents) retain the right to say "Yes! This fits me! This fits my family!"



So here's the list of topics for their class that starts next week - I hope that one of them jumps out to you and that you put it on your calendar. Whatever the current struggle...you'll find the perfect resource! And maybe its one of these MommyBites!

• Wednesday, 8/14:  Webinar: Preparing for Sibling
• Wednesday, 8/21:  Webinar: Foundations for Handwriting
• Thursday, 8/22:     Teleclass: Post-Baby Eating Tips for the New Mom
• Thursday, 9/5:       Teleclass: Start the School Year Off Right
• Wednesday, 9/18:  Webinar: Potty Training 101
• Thursday, 9/19:      Teleclass: Starting Solids & Infant Nutrition
• Thursday, 9/26:      Teleclass: Toddler Tantrums – Tips for Mom to Remain Calm
• Wednesday, 10/2:   Webinar: Toddler Sleep Solutions
• Tuesday, 10/8:       Teleclass: Helping Children Cope with Loss and Death
• Thursday, 10/24:   Teleclass: The Truth About Packaged Foods vs. Clean Eating

Are You Dealing With Separation Anxiety in Your Child?

Has your child hit the stage of separation anxiety? Don’t worry, you’re not alone!  According to healthychildren.org, many children begin to show signs of separation anxiety at around 10 months, and possibly again at 18 months. This behavior should only last a few months each time. Over time, your child will begin to gain confidence and understanding that mom and dad will come back if they leave. Separation anxiety is hard for both the parent and child, but it is also an important stage most babies need to go through. Your child will learn that they don’t need you by their side day and night and it will teach your child how to emotionally regulate themselves.

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Why separation anxiety is GOOD!

It’s a healthy milestone for your baby! 

Your baby is remembering! Your baby is understanding the concept of object performance. They begin to realize that things and people are not present. But, they don’t have the concept that these objects will return, which is why they don’t like it when you leave!

Your baby feels a strong attachment to you!
If your baby is showing signs of separation anxiety, then you’re doing something right! This means that your baby feels comforted and safe with you!

But, why is it so HARD?

Good news! We have some tips to make this period a little more bearable!

1. You know the irritable feeling you get when you are are tired or hungry? Your baby feels the same way. When you plan to leave your baby with another caregiver, make sure they are fed and rested. This will help your baby to not feel as anxious when you have to leave them. If your child is sick, try to reschedule any errands you may need to do; they need you to comfort them most at those times.

2. Saying goodbye is always hard. Try to keep it short and simple. Don’t linger thinking it will help. The more you stay, the harder it will be for your baby to understand the concept that you have to leave. If you're leaving them with a new person or in a new environment, do take a little extra time for them to get used to the new environment.

3. Don’t give into their tears! Comfort them when needed, but know your baby will cry because they want you to stay with them. Once you leave, their fear will taper eventually.

4. When at home, try to allow your baby to become accustomed to you leaving by allowing them small intervals of alone time. If you do have to leave them in a room, don’t run back right away when they begin to protest. Talk to them until you get back. Let them know you will come back!

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If your baby is going through this stage, just know it doesn't last forever! Take comfort in the fact that your baby trusts and loves you so much they don’t want to be away from you! Eventually, their anxiety and fear will subside. They will learn that you don’t disappear forever when you leave them.  

I Can Read Too Mom!

Even though your infant is not old enough to understand the words in a book, it is important to introduce books and reading at a young age

 Although usually when you first give an infant a book it looks kind of likes this: 

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As cute as they look trying to taste those books, the earlier infants are introduced to books, they can learn as they grow to enjoy books even more than they do tasting them.

Here are some tips From the book Keeping Your Baby Healthy The first 12 Months: by Paty Reid, on  "How You Read to Your Baby" 

Start Early with Sturdy Books: 

• Find books that are made of cloth or cardboard. Let your baby hold and play with these books.
• Choose a time when baby is ready to cuddle or quiet down. This will help them learn that it is a pleasant activity they can enjoy. 

Teach About how Books Are Put Together:

• Teach by example and explain how you should treat a book, but remember that it may take time before your child will understand. 
• The important thing is that you spend time together, it doesn't matter if the book is upside down or that they want to keep opening the book from back to front. 

Ideas for Reading With Your Child: 

• Hold your child in your lap as you read and cuddle close
• Talk about the book; explain the simple version of the story 
• Ask questions about the pictures "What are they doing?" and "Where is the doggy?"

How to teach Values to Your Child Through Reading:

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• Show love and affection while reading- they will be more likely to follow your example 
• Children learn about feelings and emotions from books 
• Help your child apply the stories to their own life and experiences ("how can you help someone else?"). 

and Remember: 

• Keep Trying each day 
• Adapt your reading time to your child's interest span (however many mins or seconds that may be today!)

Parenting Tips to help your Preschooler!

It's almost that time again to get everything ready for the kids to go back to school! Sometimes this transition can be stressful especially if your little one is headed to preschool for the first time.

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However, the Centers for Disease Control has provided us with 7 simple positive parenting tips that you can do to help your preschooler during this time!

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Positive Parenting Tips:           

• Continue to read to you child. Nurture their love for books by taking them to the library or bookstore.

• Allow them to help you with simple chores.

• Promote the value of friendship and sharing by encouraging your children to play with others.

• Be consistent with discipline. Make sure you are showing them and explaining the behavior you expect from them clearly. 

• Help your child with communication skills by talking with them in complete sentences and using "grown up" words.

• Help navigate your child through the solving problem steps when they are upset.

• Offer your child a limited amount of simple choices (example: deciding what to wear, when to play, and what to eat for a snack)

As children head into early childhood, their world begins to open up. They will become more independent, exploring and asking more about things, and their interactions with family and those who are around them will help shape their personality. You can make this a fun, easy transition by implementing the parenting tips in your life!