Friday, June 29, 2012

Thumb Sucking and Pacifiers


Thumb sucking and pacifiers can be a real worry to most parents. We've all heard the horror stories about children's teeth becoming deformed and needing orthodontic intervention.

After doing some research and calling a few pediatric dentists, I was able to get more information from the dentists at South Valley Pediatric Dentistry. They even have a blog with great information on topics ranging from Halloween candy to dental care for Autistic children.

Sucking on a pacifier and/or thumb is a healthy, natural reflex that infants and toddlers use to soothe themselves. Sucking is very relaxing and may help children fall asleep. Sometimes infants and children will develop thumb sucking in response to the popular Cry It Out (or Ferber) method because they are left to self-soothe. Thumb sucking is the most natural response for an infant to self-soothe, especially if they do not have a pacifier.

According to pediatric dentists and the ADA (American Dental Association), sucking on a pacifier and/or thumb will effect a child's teeth and mouth formation. However, this effect does not become serious (or expensive) until after permanent teeth have come in; this happens around 6 years old when children start losing their baby teeth.

Most dentist do not begin to worry about thumb sucking until a child is 5 years old.

A child sucks his/her thumb to manage stress. Most children will stop sucking their thumb on their
own at around 2-4 years old.
Dr. T. Berry Brazelton explains that thumb sucking after toddlerhood is a symptom of a deeper issue. Instead of trying to fix the symptom, Dr. Brazelton suggests doing some research to find the root of the problem. 

Here are some transitions that can cause stress and, consequently, prolonged thumb sucking:
  • Parent leaving for extended amount of time
  • Starting new daycare or preschool
  • Divorce
  • Potty training
  • New sibling
If you are becoming anxious because your child is over 4 years old and is still sucking his/her thumb or pacifier, here are some tips to help beat the habit.
  • Give or show them alternative methods to self-soothing; a blanket, toy animal, exercise, laughing, cuddling, etc.
  • Do not accentuate the negative by punishing the child when he sucks his thumb; i.e. notice the times that your child soothes himself without a thumb/pacifier and praise him for using alternative methods.
  • Zero in on the root cause of the thumb sucking; try to alleviate the stress in your child's life.
  • If you child is sucking a pacifier, poke a hole in the soft part and it will deflate the pacifier making it impossible to suck on. This may cause some weeping and wailing for a night or two, but it will rid them of the habit. Since the child sees the pacifier as defective, you will not be the "bad guy" by taking the pacifier away. Parents have had great success with this method.
  • Try to wean the child off of a pacifier or thumb just like you weaned them off of breastfeeding or bottle feeding. Try to get them to only use it at night when they need help going to sleep, and then slowly introduce something else in it's place: reading books, a blanket, a toy animal, etc.
  • If you have to take extreme measures (which should only be used when they start losing their baby teeth) you can rub nasty tasting ointment on the thumb, or a band aid to make the thumb less desirable. Dentists/orthodontists also offer mouth pieces that have spikes making it painful to suck a thumb (ouch!). 
Pediatricians and dentists have both mentioned that thumb sucking is a natural self-soothing method that should not be stressed over. Unless a child is exposed to extremely stressful situations, they will most likely break the habit by themselves at around 2-4 years old. 

What have you tried? What have you found to be the most successful?

Sources:
Touchpoints -Dr. T. Berry Brazelton, M.D

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Use Your Words

Have you ever been given incomplete or confusing instructions? I have, and it can be very frustrating. Especially when you are criticized for not completing the instructions correctly.



A lot of childhood misbehavior is caused by parents, teachers, caretakers, etc. giving incomplete or confusing instructions.

Too many times children are given instructions that do not make sense. They do the best they can with the instructions they received and with what they actually understood. As parents, teachers, and caretakers it is our responsibility to use our words correctly and give instructions that are clear and easy to understand.



Here are some basic guidelines to follow*

  • Make sure you have the child's attention before you begin to speak. This is easier if you are close to the child and down on her level. A gentle hand on the arm might help, too, depending on the child and the situation. 
  • Always get down to a child's level when talking to him/her. If sitting on the floor or squatting is uncomfortable for you, try keeping a chair handy.
  • Remember that body language, tone of voice, and facial expression affect the message you deliver. The same phrase can be reassuring or threatening depending on how you say it. Words matter. Your expression and tone of voice matter just as much, and sometimes more.
  • Use simple words and short sentences. Avoid idioms and shortcuts. Try to say exactly what you mean as clearly as possible. If you do use idioms, watch for signs of confusion, and be prepared to explain them. Example: "Please sit nicely in your chair!" Most children do not know how to sit "nicely." Instead, be specific: "Sit in your chair with your hands on your lap and your mouth closed."
  • Don't be wishy-washy. If you mean no, say it. If you say no, mean it.
  • Don't ask a question or offer a choice when there isn't one. Let the children know clearly what you need from them. In particular, avoid using "okay?" at the end of directives, as in "It's clean-up time, okay?" Another example, "Would you like some peas?" If the child is required to eat peas, do not make it a question because they will probably respond with "no."
  • Don't ask questions to which you already know the answer. This applies to managing behavior as well as concept development. Don't ask a child, "Is that the way we treat our friends?" You already know that pushing another child is not a good way to treat him, but a young child doesn't yet. Likewise, ther are better ways to develop children's thinking skills than to ask them questions about numbers and colors and letters to which you already know the answer.
  • If you must interrupt children, remember they deserve the same courtesy adults expect. Say something like "Excuse me, I need you in the book corner now, please." Teach please, thank you, I'm sorry, you're welcome, and other niceties by your own modeling rather than prodding with that old "What do you say?"
  • Use praise in moderation and only when it is sincere and truly called for. When you are praising a child, be specific--for example, instead of just saying, "Good job!" follow it with the appreciated behavior: "Good job picking up the blocks." Better yet, avoid praise altogether, and comment on or thank the child for the work he/she did. For example, "You did a lot of work picking up those blocks," or "Thank you for picking up so many blocks. Look how much space there is now!"

Using correct, clear language is very important when speaking with children. If there has been "misbehavior" think about how you might have given unclear instructions. I will end this post with a couple of examples, and we would also love to hear any of your own!

Teacher has given the children finger paints to make a painting to hang in the classroom, she lets them know that they are not allowed to paint on the walls or floor. She is called to the office and, upon returning, finds the children painting all over each other! The paint was all over the paper and on the children, but nothing on the wall or floors. The teacher should have clearly instructed that the paints are for the paper only. She also could  ask the children questions such as, "Can you paint on the floor?" (no), "Can you paint on each other?" (no) "Where can you paint?" (the paper).


A teacher and her aid are getting their kindergarten class ready to play outside. They find one child sitting in the corner crying. They try to comfort the child by telling her that they will help her get ready to play outside in the snow. This makes it worse and they are very confused by her behavior since this particular girl has always loved playing outside. They later find out that this little student had overheard the teacher and aid talking about how deep the know was; "It will be hard to keep track of the kids during recess. The snow is so deep they will disappear." The little girl took this sentence literally and was very upset. 


*All information for this post was taken from the book Use Your Words by Carol Garhart Mooney.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Infant Massage

I work at a massage salon as a receptionist part time and all day, when I’m there, I am constantly seeing people come out of their massage relaxed and happy.  They will go on and on about how great the massage was, how wonderful they feel, the pain relief they have, and even what an amazing therapist they had.  There are even quite a few people who request certain therapists time and time again because they just like them so much.  And from personal experience I feel like if I could get a massage every week I’d be the happiest girl in the world.

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So if that applies to us as adults why couldn’t babies experience something similar? 
                              
                           
There is continuous research that is showing benefits of doing infant massage.  Benefits include:

  Cognitive Development
o   Skin stimulation which speeds up myelination of the brain/nervous systems.
  Motor Development
o   Increases oxygen and nutrient flow to cells
o   Improves muscle tone
o   Improves sensory awareness
o   Relieve discomfort from teething, congestion, gas and colic, and emotional distress.
o   Encourages midline orientation
  Language Development
o   The communication that is exchanged between the parent and baby is the beginning of receptive and expressive language development.
This is a very good time to introduce nursery rhymes that can be repeated every massage to increase exposure to words and rhythm of language.
 Attachment
o   Encourages bonding with a more intimate interaction helping to develop a relationship of trust and a variety of social skills.
o   When built into routines the baby learns to anticipate the comforting experience of massage. These repeated patterns increase trust and strengthen bonding.
  Relax Time
o   This is a wonderful opportunity for parents to take time to relax with their child.  The baby will calm down from the day and so can the parents
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How to do it:

When massaging your baby, use gentle, light strokes, but avoid being so light it will tickle. You'll want to move from the center of the body outward—go from upper leg to foot, or shoulder to hand for example

Look for cues from your baby as you massage. She will give you signals to let you know if she is enjoying the massage and when massage time is over.

Begin with the legs, the easiest to work with and the easiest part for baby to accept. Hold the foot with one hand and "milk" the leg from ankle to thigh with the other. Then, hold the thigh with both hands, as if holding a baseball bat, and using a gentle twisting and squeezing motion, move your hands from thigh to foot.  Finally, roll the leg between your hands from knee to ankle. As you move down the leg to the foot, do a series of thumb presses with your hand encircling the ankle and foot. For the finishing touch, lightly stroke the legs from thigh to feet before you move onto the trunk.

To massage the abdomen, slide your whole palm and fingers in a hand-over-hand circular motion, working from the rib cage downward. Next, slide both hands around the abdomen in clockwise circular movements. To relax a tense, bloated abdomen try the "I Love U" stroke . Finally, using fingertip pressure, try "walking" over the abdomen.

For the chest, slide both hands along the rib cage from center to sides and back again, like flattening the pages in a book.

The arms and hands are done in the same fashion as the legs and the feet, beginning, however, with a "pit stop" (massaging the lymph nodes in the armpit).

The face has special strokes all its own – whole handed smoothing; lightly pressing, pushing, and circling with the thumbs; and finally combing from forehead over cheeks with light fingertip strokes. Last, do the back. With the pads of your fingers, lightly rub small circles all over the back. Then gently come with the fingertips from back over buttocks and legs to ankles.
 

Taken in part from:
Benefits of infant massage. (2011). Retrieved February 17, 2011
from http://www.infantmassageusa.org/learn-tomassage-
your-baby/benefits-of-infant-massage/
Sears (2011). The right touch: the art of infant massage.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Movie Night

Come to a Free MOVIE NIGHT hosted by Eaton Alliance
on Wednesday, June 27! 

Eaton Alliance provides day programs, supportive living, housing and other services for individuals with autism or other developmental disabilities. Eaton Alliance can also train families on how to support their loved one with a developmental disability. 

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Pattern and Memory Activities

When I was a little kid I remember watching "Winnie the Pooh" and noticing some dust on the TV screen. As I sipped water from my water bottle I had a brilliant idea; spray off the dust with water! Just like a car wash sprays dirt off a car. 
Not so brilliant. My parents didn't buy another television for 2 years after I destroyed the first one. 
During those 2 years, my mom created lots of activities and games to keep me and my siblings occupied, and I have more memories from those years than any other time during my childhood. 
Whether you have decided to restrict television viewing, or just want to add more games to your arsenal of activities, here are a few that are cheap and easy to make, plus they have tons of developmental benefits!

Color-Matching Clothespins

Materials
Paint samples--2 of each color variety (1 for clothespins and 1 for matching)
Clothespins
Glue


Make it!
Cut out each color on the first paint sample, then glue onto clothespins. When glue is dry, clip on the second paint sample. Done.





Fabric Memory Game

Materials

Fabric scraps
Felt--solid color
Sewing machine or fabric glue


Make it!
Cut out 2 squares of each fabric pattern, as well as 2 squares of felt for each pattern you choose.  Glue or sew patterned squares onto felt.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Tuesday Toddler Tip:

Do you ever hear your toddler talking to themselves; repeating corrective discipline you have given them, like: "don't whine", "ask nicely", "hitting is not nice", "count to ten".

Hearing your child talk to him/herself like this may seem kind of weird, but as adults we do it all the time, except we've learned how to internalize those thought processes. Think about the last time you had a job interview, to prepare, you probably thought about all the things you wanted to say; you may have even practiced out loud. This is exactly what your child is doing, he/she is internalizing social rules and norms of how to behave, act, and what to say in social settings.

As parents you will want to encourage this type of behavior by not interrupting it, and also by modeling the behavior. Say you get frustrated while talking on the phone to an insurance company; when you hang up model out-loud things you can do to calm down. You could say something like: "Breathe" or "Count to ten" or even "I need some cranky/concentration creme" (a soothing lotion, usually lavender; the motion of rubbing it in gives you time to cool off and the lavender help to relax; works wonders for toddlers).

Monday, June 18, 2012

The Queen of Clean



"Wow, you are like the Queen of Clean! How do you do it?"

This is one of the most frequently heard phrases and questions when people visit my home. It’s great. I’m incredibly proud of it; but not because I put in hours of hard work, but because it’s so simple and fun, but it LOOKS like I put in hours and hours (but who has time for that?!). But rest assured, my home was not always the put-together, clutter-free, squeaky clean home it is today! *gasp* Unbelievable, I know! If you want to know how to super clean your home, with almost no effort and in record breaking times, please, continue reading.

My BIGGEST tip is to do a 5 minute clean-up (you may need to make it longer depending on how much fun your kids have during the day) every day! My husband and I turn on the timer in our kitchen and then all chaos breaks out and we run around seeing who can put away the most things. It’s really fun racing to the last sock on the floor or the ball in the corner. I will admit that sometimes we have to reset the timer and actually pick-up because the first one turned into more of a game (tossing balls at each other, playing with nerf swords). I promise that doing this one little thing each day makes a big difference in the overall cleanliness of the house. For playrooms/play areas you might want to do it a couple of times a day for shorter time periods. The key is to make it quick and FUN!

Second tip; put a bin/basket where it seems that junk gathers. Not only does this make it feel a bit more organized, but if it is full, typically whatever was about to be put in there actually gets put away! Then at the end of the day, or whenever you pass by the bin, you can put the items that are in there away. Mainly, this just helps things like keys, mail, phones, and remotes from being scattered on counter-tops or laying around on the couch. 

Ok, so these first tips only handle clutter; but what about actual cleaning? Well, same idea! Growing up, my mom, sister, and I would play Cinderella and dress up, we’d dust and sing songs, get down on our hands and knees with rags and buckets and scrub the floor; it was GREAT! We had a blast and didn’t even know we were cleaning! So again, the key is to make it fun. For my brothers my mom gives them a “mission impossible”. The first part of the mission is pretty simple, and then the second one is a little harder, and the third part is the hardest (something like washing the sliding screen door); then they have to see how quickly they can complete it with a cap time of an hour. They run around like crazy and get everything done and have a blast while doing it.


For parents, try to have only one major task per day or per week. For me, dishes are a daily task, sweeping and laundry are every-other day tasks, and vacuuming is once per week. I have a calendar on my fridge with a color code for which day I do what. Then on the weekend there is a special code and it’s the MEGA chore of the week. For me the MEGA chores are: cleaning the bathrooms (tubs, toilets, sinks, and mirrors); scrubbing the floors (tile, wood, you name it); dusting the entire house (seriously every surface gets touched; so it’s a BIG chore, but kids are great at getting things that are their height and that means less bending over, reaching down, etc. so you only need to get the high stuff). The last weekend of the month can be a weekend off (I like to give myself one of these every once in a while); otherwise we do window washing (both inside and out; so this is a fun one in the summer for kids). Now, these are just the MEGA chores at my house, maybe the MEGA chore is cleaning out a storage closet, organizing your craft room, catching up on laundry, washing your car, or going through your pantry. Really, the MEGA chore can be just about anything! 

Click for free printable from Babble.com

Now, like I said I have a calendar on my fridge, and the to-do-list pesters me until I get it completed; this may not be the case for you, you may feel overwhelmed with the idea of one more thing to do in a day. If this is the case, start really small (like with the first two tips), then cleaning won’t leave a bad taste in your mouth, you’ll enjoy it, and then it will get easier to work up to a more routine schedule. Truth be told, when I first started, doing the dishes was my MEGA chore for the week. Really, just pick a place and start, and soon enough you’ll be having a blast! The hardest part truly is starting. (If anyone has a solution for finding the motivation/courage/ability to just start doing something, please, share your tips because my weakness is running, I know it needs to get done, but I just can’t seem to get it done in a day). 

Anyhow, Happy Cleaning!
-The Queen of Clean

Friday, June 15, 2012

Transitioning: It's more than music time!


Huge life changes anyone? I recently got married (5 months tomorrow!!). I will fully admit to being a gushy newly-wed, but I’m totally ok with that. Here are a few pictures so you can see how cute we are (photos by Lora Grady Photography): 




Two days before I got married I had an almost breakdown. I called my parent surrogates (my parents died when I was 19) absolutely freaking out (we’re talking high pitched, fast cry-talking). My father said, “I’m not qualified for this,” and passed the phone to his wife.

I didn’t know what my life was going to be like in a few days and that was just scary to me! My mother said she had been waiting for this “reality hitting me” phone call, which made me feel a lot better. She reminded me that yes, this was a big transition in my life, but I knew I was doing the right thing, and I love my (now) husband very, very much and that the new comfortability in my new life would develop, probably easier than I thought (an honestly, isn’t he just so handsome? I am very happy in my marriage!).

This is my "I'm trying to do a sexy, but I'm mostly just really exhausted" face.

Get what I’m talking about yet? Transitions!

Just like getting married was a huge change in my life, changes in pretty much anything can be really hard for a child! I’m an adult and my life changes still want to make me cry sometimes. Here are some of the reactions that children may have to a transition in life: 
  1. Temper tantrums
  2. Disobedience
  3. Confusion
  4. Attachment to a parent or other figure (maybe a blanket or stuffed animal)
  5.  Lack of sleep or desire to eat
  6. Over excitement (I watched this one in a friend’s daughter that kept saying, “No, I can’t just wait Mommy, I just can’t!”)
Doesn’t that sound fun! These can either be because a child is overly excited or because the child is saddened by the change. Either way, there are things you can do to help your child transition and make changes easier. Here are a few ideas:
  1. Talk to your child about what is going on well before the event is going to happen, and keep talking about it. If they are starting kindergarten, moving, or even going to visit Grandma, make sure that they know it’s going on, what will happen (are they going on an airplane, for example) and what that means. Kids understand more than we think of what we tell them. By explaining things to your child you are building a relationship of trust.
  2. Make sure your children can talk about their feelings before during and after the change. This means that the child talks about what they’re feeling, and the adult mostly listens. By talking about their feelings, and having an adult give a name to that feeling (after the child has adequately talked about it), a child can learn to be emotionally competent and confident. It makes those feeling less confusing to the child, and again, they trust the parent more with their feelings in the future. (This is called Emotion Coaching)
  3. Keep regular rituals before, during, and after a transition. This can be hard, especially in the middle of a move, but having predictable patterns makes a world seem a little less shaky when you’re unsure of what’s going on or what’s happening next.
  4. Prep your child for the small and the big things! This can be anything from a Dr’s visit or recital to moving into a new home or starting a new grade.
  5. Don’t stop doing transitions just because your child is older or they seem to be ambivalent to the news! Keep up that open communication regardless.
  6. If you haven’t prepped your child ahead of time, or something happens unpredictably, and you find that you’re having problems after the event, make sure that they child knows that you care about them and that they have your support. If a child is properly attached to an adult, that gives them a safe home-base to rely on when it seems like their world is hazy. Again, Emotion Coaching can really make a huge difference!
Using these and other strategies (see the links below) can really make a huge difference in the trust and comfortable feeling of a child in their life. Think about it, kids don’t have control over much and don’t have the experience that adults do, but if they have a loving adult that’s helping them see the changes for what they are and how they can be dealt with, you’ve given them a great tool!

What other ways have you made transitioning easier for your kids (or nieces/nephews, kids you babysit, anything)?

Here’s some more information:

Aren't we cute?




Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Turn Off the Television and Let Your Children Develop

http://images.suite101.com/632798_com_boytv.jpg
Does this look familiar?

If so, you're not alone. Over the past few years, children's media exposure (television, video games, etc) has increased dramatically.
For a lot parents, the television is a cheap, reliable babysitter. Plus, it can be educational!
Win-win situation, right? WRONG!

Most parents are unaware that the American Pediatrics Association discourages any media exposure before the age of two years old.

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2wqshCmeW1qbb0sh.jpg

Studies have shown that large amounts of media exposure before the age of two can negatively affect children's future communication and thinking skills. Source


The key findings include:
  • Many video programs for infants and toddlers are marketed as "educational," yet evidence does not support this. Quality programs are educational for children only if they understand the content and context of the video. Studies consistently find that children over 2 typically have this understanding, but infants do not.
  • Unstructured play time is more valuable for the developing brain than electronic media. Children learn to think creatively, problem solve, and develop reasoning and motor skills at early ages through unstructured, unplugged play. Free play also teaches them how to entertain themselves.
  • Young children learn best from—and need—interaction with humans, not screens.
  • Parents who watch TV or videos with their child may add to the child’s understanding, but children learn more from live presentations than from televised ones.
  • Television viewing around bedtime can cause poor sleep habits and irregular sleep schedules, which can adversely affect mood, behavior and learning.
  • Young children with heavy media use are at risk for delays in language development once they start school, but more research is needed as to the reasons.
 What can you do as a parent?
  • Set media limits for their children before age 2, bearing in mind that the AAP (American Pediatrics Association) discourages media use for this age group. Have a strategy for managing electronic media if you choose to engage your children with it;
  • Instead of screens, opt for supervised independent play for infants and young children during times that you cannot sit down and actively engage in play with the child. For example, have the child play with nesting cups on the floor nearby while a parent prepares dinner;
  • Avoid placing a television set in the child’s bedroom
  • Just don't pay for cable TV. Children can't watch television if there's nothing to watch.


Alternatives to television:

Go for a walk

Sing and dance to music
Collect leaves
Draw on a sidewalk
Go to the zoo
Race little matchbox cars
Make a snack
Visit somebody you know
Wash the car
Put puzzles together
Play dress up
Go fishing
Write a story together
Finger paint
Play hopscotch
Fly a kite
Look at the clouds for shapes
Go to the library
Memorize states and capitols
Build a house of cardboard
Go roller-skating
Write a letter and send it
Pick fruit at an orchard
Make crafts together
Plant flowers
Visit a farm
Have a picnic
Play in the mud
Go swimming or play in a sprinkler
Feed the ducks
Take pictures
Play a board game
Color with crayons
Make cards and deliver them
Go to a park
Put up a tent and play pretend
Finger paint with your feet
Find fossils
Jump rope
Walk to get ice cream or a snow cone
Make necklaces out of Cheerio's or popcorn
Make paper airplanes
Take a trip to a post office
Go to a museum
Free community events
Go to a park in another town
Blow bubbles
Ride bikes
Go to a local Farmer's Market
Plant a garden
Bird watch
Read a book
Act out a scene from a book
Parent-child yoga
Activities for cognitive (brain) development
Celebrate a holiday (National Popcorn Day, National Sock Day, etc)

50 Non-television things to do with your child
Unplug Your Kids
101 TV-free Alternatives

Monday, June 11, 2012

Father's Day Gifts


Need a gift idea for the kiddos to do for father's day?  Here are some great ones to make your own and give to Dad.


Coupon book:
Have the kids help decide what "coupons" they want to give to dad.

Examples of coupons:
 “I’ll read you a bed time story”, “One giant bear hug”,
”I’ll rake the lawn”, and “Wash your car”
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Decorate a cooking apron
Get fabric paint and have the kids go crazy on an apron.
Photo



Salt Dough & Pea Gravel "Dad Rocks" rock
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Recipe:
1/4 cup salt
1/2
cup flour
1/4 cup water

Preheat oven to 250 degrees F.

Mix flour, salt and water together in a bowl. If dough is too sticky add small amounts of flour until it is doughy and pliable. Be careful not to add too much as the dough will dry out and your creation will crack.

Shape a piece of the dough into a ball in your hands. Place the ball on the cookie sheet and flatten to about 1/2" thickness.

Carefully select pieces of pea gravel to spell out "DAD ROCKS". Press them firmly but gently into the salt dough.




Bake your "rock" for 2-2.5 hours until completely dry.
Remove from oven and allow to cool before handling or removing from cookie sheet.

Optional: You can spray your creation with acrylic sealer or paint it with a clear coat sealer.



Treats!
The fastest way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
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D-A-D Picture
Cute kids. Cute photos. Cute frame. Cute gift.
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Tie Greeting Cards
You can never go wrong with a hand made card.
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Top Reasons Why My Dad Is The Best List
Have the kids make a list and find a creative way to display the reasons why they love their dad.
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