Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Caring for your Child's Teeth

The sugars we eat or drink, including sugar in milk, mixes with plaque to create an acid that eats away at our teeth.  During the day we drink water or our saliva removes the acid from our teeth.  However, at night the acid tends to sit on our teeth.

Ways to Care for Your Baby's Teeth:

  • Don't put your baby to bed with a bottle with juice or milk, only water.
  • Wipe gums with a damp wash cloth after they eat or at least before bed. 
  • When first teeth appear, brush them every day with a soft toothbrush. (Don't use fluoride toothpaste until age 3.)
  • After 6 months of age, talk to your doctor about a fluoride supplement if your city's water doesn't contain fluoride.
  • Take your child to the dentist between age 1 & 2 (check with your dentist for his recommendation) and then every year.
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Teaching a Toddler to Brush their own teeth:
  • Teach your child early how to brush.  Buy a small toothbrush with soft bristles.
  • Make brushing fun or a game.  Sing "Brush, brush, brush your teeth, keep them clean and white" to the tune Row-row-row your Boat.
  • Let your child watch you brush your teeth.
  • Read children's books about brushing teeth.
  • Play going to the dentist with your child.
  • Make a chart where your child can place a sticker every time they remember to brush their teeth.  You may want to come up a reward they can earn for filling up the chart
Materials from Utah County Health Department's Welcome Baby program.


Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Soothing a Crying Baby

When a baby starts crying we instantly start running though a list of questions...


Is she hungry? Feed her.
Is she wet? Change her.
Is she lonely? Pick her up.
Is she gassy? Burp her.
Is she cold? Bundle her up.


The question is what do you do when none of those things work!  I turned to Dr. Harvey Karp's national bestseller, The Happiest Baby on the Block.  I wanted to highlight a couple things that I learned from this book.


First, know that you are a still good mom even if you can't soothe your baby every time.  Even these experts struggle to sooth a baby every time.

Book

Second, know that the advice you can find will often be confusing or contradictory. Some say experts say that you can never spoil a baby so hold her while other experts say to let the baby cry herself to sleep.  In conclusion, experiment.   Find what works best for you and your baby.
Third, try to create an environment that imitates that environment like the world they knew for the last 9 months. 

Book

You can create this environment by following Dr. Harvey Karp's 5 "S's" technique.

Book

The 5 "S's" are most helpful when you use all of them.  Start at the top of the list and just pile one soothing technique right on top of the other. 

Book

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Language Sounds and Milestones


One of the most common concerns I hear from parents is about their child's speech. They worry that the child is not speaking soon enough, that she doesn't  have enough words, that the sounds aren't clear. Its important to remember that each child is unique and therefore time when they'll master a sound, a word or a grammatical principle will be different for each of them. The milestones of communication development are the same....the time in a child's life when he or she will achieve these milestones may differ slightly. 
Knowing what the milestones are will help you as a parent be aware of your Little Billy (who is different than Sally Jo's baby girl down the street) and how widdle biddle Bilwy is is developing. Its exciting when they start to babble and it turns into actions and distinct sounds. Recognizing where you child is at will help you recognize where he or she might need an additional boost of support. 
Help Me Grow has lists of communication activities appropriate for each age group. Make sure you're getting those regularly from your care coordinator. If you want to start receiving it, just call us!

Communication Milestones
Information from the Provo Early Intervention Program (PEIP)

Birth to 3 Months
Startles to loud noises
Makes throaty pleasure sounds (cooing)
Quiets to soothing voice

4 to 6 Months
Simple babbling begins
Looks in the direction of sounds
Responds to change in tone of voice

7 to 12 Months
Begins to imitate (actions and sounds)
Recognizes words for common items
Begins to use words (approx. 12 months)

12 to 18 Months
Points to body parts
Responds to simple commands/questions
Says new words each month

18 to 24 Months
Puts two words together and asks simple questions
Follows novel directions
Uses words to request and comment

24 to 36 Months
Uses 3–4 word sentences to talk about things
Speech mostly understood by strangers
Follows two-step direction

Another great resource we also got from PEIP was this chart of the norms for when individual sounds can be developed. A lot of parents like to see this so they can understand when individual sounds come in. As you can see, some sounds may finish developing up to age 8! others earlier. Its good information to know.


Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Helping Children Recognize and Manage their Emotions

One of the things we're asked most about here at Help Me Grow is how to help children, especially toddlers, identify and manage their emotions. One of the things we suggest to parents is something called Emotion Coaching. The idea of emotion coaching was developed by Dr. John Gottman as a research-based tool to help parents in not only understanding their children's emotion, but why they occur and how to handle them. Emotion coached children learn to self-soothe and understand how their emotions lead to their actions.

In his book, "Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child: The Heart of Parenting," Gottman lays out five steps to effective emotion coaching.

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Step 1: Be Aware of Emotions
Part of being aware of emotions is understanding how you handle your emotions. If you feel out of control when you are angry, you may discourage your child from feeling anger. However, in order to effectively emotion coach parents must:
    • Acknowledge that their child's feelings are important
    • Recognize that their children's feelings and wishes are okay, even if their actions aren't
    • Understand that experiencing negative emotions, such as sadness, anger or fear, is important
    • Realize that negative feelings are a chance for problem-solving and for parents and children to grow closer 

Step 2: Connect with your Child
This means believing that your child's negative emotions are an opportunity for closeness and teaching. Children are more likely to be relieved of negative feelings when they can talk about them, label them, and feel understood by an adult. 
Some advice Gottman gives for doing this is:
    • Take your child's emotions seriously
    • Be willing to understand your child's perspective
    • Encourage your child to talk about feelings 
Step 3: Listen to your Child
Listen with empathy and understanding, then validate. Empathetic listening is a key component to emotion coaching. After your child feels understood, it is okay to tell them that their while their feelings are valid and acceptable, sometimes their actions are not. It is important to show that you understand their emotion, before trying to correct their behavior.
Gottman's advice for emphathetic listening and validating feelings is
    • Share simple observations. Instead of asking questions about how your child is feeling, simply state your observations about their actions. For example if your child is misbehaving after being told they can't have another desert, say to them, "I can see that you are frustrated. It can be frustrating not getting something that you really want."
    • Avoid asking questions you already know the answer to. This can create an environment of mistrust. Instead, simple address the issue at hand. If you observe one child hit the other instead of asking them if they did, say "I saw you hit your brother. I am very disappointed."
    • Share examples from your own life. This helps children understand that their emotions are normal and okay. 
Step 4: Name Emotions

For children, especially young children, emotions are especially hard to deal with because they don't fully understand what they are feeling. By giving these feelings names, it transforms a scary, unidentifiable feeling into something identifiable and normal. Labeling emotions can soothe a child's anxiety about how they are feeling.

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One of the most important things about naming emotions, is being sure not to tell your child how they ought to feel, but rather through empathetic listening try to identify the emotion they are feeling.

Gottman suggests starting to identify emotions before children can talk. This can be done through reading books about emotions or by simply talking to children about them. By beginning early, children develop a knowledge and vocabulary consisting of a wide range of emotion words they can use when they do begin to express themselves verbally.

Step 5: Find Solutions

Set limits while exploring possible solutions to the problem that caused the negative emotions. This is a five-part step.
  1. Set limits. As I mentioned earlier, validating feelings and emotions doesn't necessarily mean validating behavior. It's important to teach children that their reactions to emotions must be within boundaries and behavior outside those boundaries is subject to discipline. It's important to follow through on the limitations set. For example, if child A takes a toy away from child B and child B reacts by hitting, an appropriate response would be to say to child B, "You're upset because child A took your toy, and that's okay, I would be too. But hitting is not okay. What could you have done instead?" 
  2. Identify goals. If your child misbehaves as a result of their emotions, try to identify (by asking them) what they were trying to accomplish by their actions? 
  3. Think of possible solutions. After identifying what your child aimed to do by misbehaving, help them think through other solutions to their problem. Try to let them talk as much as possible before offering your own suggestions. If your child makes an unreasonable suggestion, instead of dismissing or criticizing it, try asking them questions that will help them see the error of their solution.
  4. Evaluate the proposed solutions based on your family values. Ask questions like, "Is this solution fair?" "Is it safe?" "How are you likely to feel? How are other people likely to feel?"
  5. Help your child choose a solution. Help them come up with a plan to accomplish their chosen solution. Even if the solution isn't workable, move through it (as long as it's harmless, of course), letting them learn the consequences of their solution. Be sure to leave room and opportunity to rework the solution when your child begins to realize it might not be the best one.
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There is no one right way to raise a child, but emotion coaching has been shown to have many positive benefits. As parents begin to recognize and validate the emotions their child is feeling while helping them find appropriate solutions, children learn to recognize and handle their emotions in healthy ways. Emotion coaching enables children to develop empathy--the ability to identify and relate to the feelings or thoughts of another person.


Monday, December 3, 2012

10 Tips for Choosing Childcare

All parents need help occasionally taking care of their children. And whether that's just a babysitter on date night or a full time day care, it is really important to take seriously who you are going to leave your kids with! HERE is a post we did on babysitting but here are some additional tips on how to choose the childcare that is right for you!
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  1. Observe your child with them. Observe a day at the daycare or see how your child will interact with whoever is taking care of them! You want to feel comfortable and of course you want your child to be comfortable!
  2. Be aware of the child to caretaker ratio. Regulations vary on this but it's good to aware of how many adults will be there with groups of children. If your child can thrive in a group setting, it may be okay to be in more of a daycare however, they may not if you feel your child needs a lot of one-on-one interaction.
  3. Licensing and Certification. Be aware of how childcare places are accredited and are inspected. You want to make sure that it is a qualified, safe environment for your child. 
  4. Training. Similar to making sure the childcare is appropriately accredited  be sure the child care providers are well trained so they can keep you kids safe and happy!
  5. Schedules. Some childcare has more of a free play schedule while other places may have a more structured environment. How does your child thrive? Consider that in picking a program for your child.
  6. Allow for time to adjust. Of course you may not feel entirely comfortable right away but if you feel it's a good fit, take time for your child to adjust to the new environment.
  7. Understand their policies so that you know what they are offering and what you can expect.
  8. A specific policy to be well aware of is what happens if your child is sick or others are sick! Be careful dealing with germs!
  9. Communication. You want to be sure that your childcare providers will communicate with you so that you can always be aware of what's going on with your child when you're away!
  10. Trust your parental instincts! You're the one who knows what is best for your child. Trust that and only choose childcare that you are completely comfortable with!
There is excellent childcare available to you! Here in Utah County you can call Child Care Resources & Referral to get more information about how to find appropriate child care for you! Call them at (801) 863-8631!

Here are some other sites with more info: