Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Back to School Countdown #0: Homework Tips by the Utah PIRC

We hope your FIRST DAY of SCHOOL went well!  Did your kids get up on-time after sleeping in all summer?  Did your kids get lucky enough to have all their friends in their class(es)? (...or maybe not so lucky if they talk to much when they are with their friends.)  Did you cry when you had to drop off your kindergartner?  or were you like my friend who cried when she dropped her "little girl" off for her first day of HIGH SCHOOL?  Are you starting to feel old yet?  Leave a comment and tell me how school went!


Well, now that school has started it is time for "Harnessing Homework Hassles!"  The Utah Parent Information Resource Center (PIRC) has provided this helpful check list for "harnessing homework hassles."  



Parent's Homework Check-List
  1. Know your school's homework policy.
  2. Ask your child about their homework, but keep it positive. (SMILE!)
  3. Provide a quiet place.
  4. Review your child's homework often to make sure it is being done correctly.
  5. Make sure there are no interruptions.
  6. Make homework a priority-turn off the TV, don't answer the phone, and read or do something quiet next to your child while they work. (Set an example.)
  7. READ! READ! READ! Read to, or with your child every day.  Take turns reading pages or paragraphs. Have your child pick out the verbs-maybe even act them out to make it fun.
  8. Praise your child often.  Make a big deal of them getting done or even for writing their letters neatly.  Make sure they know you think homework is important.  
Visit the Utah PIRC at www.ufpn.org for more parent information resources and tips.

Back to School Countdown #1: Happy Happy Food!

I was sitting at my desk, deeply involved in the blog topic choosing process and viola! the idea came to me in the form of my stomach making those little noises of discomfort.

I shall talk about the important topic of nutrition!

Nah, i'll let someone else talk about how important nutrition is...you know how proper nutrition in children is essential to their mental and physical development and how children ages 2 to 3 years old you need to keep the total fat intake between 30 to 35 percent of calories per day and for children and adolescents age 4 to 18 years......i'm tired just thinking about it all!!!!

Instead lets think about three things:

1. Water
2. Color
3. Fun


Make sure your child is drinking lots of water! Make sure your child is eating a lot of varied color in each meal. Make sure food is equated with fun!

***DISCLAIMER*** Really, I just wanted to do a post with lots of cool lunch ideas. So those three things listed above are not supported by nutritionists in any way. They only reflect my own opinions about water, food and fun.

Another fun item for school: the Ultimate Anti-Theft Lunch Bag!! If your child is suffering from always having his lunch confiscated by other children at school, consider the following:


Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Back to School Countdown #7: 41st Grade

I awoke just now at 3 a.m. with a subconscious alarm whispering in my ear "Tomorrow is your day to blog for Help Me Grow...." I lay in the pitch black air that surrounds me thinking of what I should share with you.  What words of advice, wisdom, or information should I pass on that I have gained over the years?


and it hit me like a 2 ton brick in the face


"Tell them they are good enough!" came over and over to my quiet mind.  As my children lay asleep, curled up in their beds and my mind is peaceful without the phone ringing, kids quarreling, bills to pay, and people to see...I know that telling you today that YOU as a parent are GOOD ENOUGH is the most important message to share.


{this is how serious I am about this one...}


We are extremely lucky to have a wealth of information at our finger tips.  Tips and tricks for anything can be pulled up on the Internet, and not to degrade good information, heaven knows I couldn't live without it, but isn't it harder than anything as a parent to accept that we are enough? Swallow the fact that we are learning also as we support our children though school and that just like our children, we have the right to struggle sometimes too? 


I just figured as I lay in bed, that I am in the 41st grade.  I have been in this school of life for a long time, and even though I will continue to learn until the day I die, I have gleaned  this piece of truth that I wish to share.


Everyone messes up.


We are here on this planet to do our best, mess up, and keep on going.  When the principal of my kids school mentions on my face book wall "Your Ella came to school today with your husbands socks on..."  What else is there to do than grin and pat myself on the back for having some of his socks clean for her to wear?


When my kids pass me up in Math class and I have no more lessons to teach, other than kick myself and rant that "I should have listened in 8th grade rather than flirt with my "first love",  I just smile and relish in the fact that I must be doing something right because my kids passed me up!


AND


When my kids come home crying after a long day at school and they were teased because they studied the section on plants and their last name is "Moss" and all the kids called them "non vascular" all day, I realize that I have come a long way.  I recall being teased, feeling heart broken and like I would never recover, but guess what?


I did. 




I have gained more knowledge each year I am in the school of life, and I'm better able to teach my children because of the lessons I have learned.  Although the 41st grade makes me sound ancient, I am proud that I have made it this far. My friends, you are good enough.  As your children start school and the circus act of life revs up again juggling homework, friends, lessons and projects remember


*all you can do is your best, and that is enough*


Your children love you and if you are continually depressed because of all the things you feel like you don't do well, they will sense that.  They need you to be strong and happy.  After all, how can we expect them to value themselves even in their shortcomings, if we don't?  Our children our smart and can sense what messages we are sending to them and to ourselves.  Positive self talk is everything.  I truly believe that what we say in our minds, affects all we do and say.


My advice as the school year rolls around, is to practice positive talk.  Tell your kids they are great.  If you tell them they are lazy, they will prove you right.  If you tell them they are smart, they will work their hardest to prove you right.  They same goes for you.


What do you tell yourself when nobody can hear?  Our brains are always talking...mine is anyway
{I hope I'm not alone on this one.... } I believe the same is true with us as parents.  What are you telling yourself?  Remember, you ARE good enough!


Give yourself some slack and enjoy the journey!

By: Me *Janae*
over at Pink Moss

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Back to School Countdown #8: Reading

For my last post on reading out loud to your child I gave a few connections to places where to find books, and also some ideas on why reading out loud to your child is important. Here are a few videos that you can use so that your child can be read to. They let you look at the pictures, and some are even set to music.


If you are looking for more videos, try looking on Youtube (that's where I went) or even simply click on the name of the person that posted the video on youtube (you need to be on the youtube page, and the link is blue just below the title of their post) and that will connect you to the poster's page where you can find more! Goodluck!


Llama Llama Mad At Mama

The youtube website: Llama Llama Mad At Mama Posted By: PenguinYoungReaders




Skippyjon Jones and the Big Bones

The youtube website: Skippyjon Jones and the Big Bones Posted By: ImSkippyjonJones


Have you found any online reading resources that you love?

Monday, August 15, 2011

Kindergarten Countdown #9: Kindergarten Nightmares

Off to kindergarten! Starting school is a tremendous step forward in development for five-year-olds and often brings with it a disconcerting, but common, experience: nightmares.


Nightmares actually serve a developmental purpose: they balance the powerful aggressive feelings five-year-olds have with the helplessness they experience during nightmares. These dreams arise out of fear, aggression or strong wishes that they experience but can't yet handle. They are beginning to understand that they that they are smaller than adults. They no longer believe that wishing will make something happen. They want to conquer the world but realize they need help. The first months of school bring anxieties that are difficult for these former superheroes to manage. Their waking behavior may still include lots of superhero fantasy; they may be unexpectedly demanding or even have tantrums. These behaviors, along with nightmares, will decrease as the child is helped to manage their feelings.


Dr. T. Berry Brazelton, in his book Touchpoints: Three to Six writes, " Bad dreams appear to be inversely correlated with a five-year-old's ability to handle aggressive feelings. I urge parents to let up on pressure to be 'good' at such a time. A child of five is already working so hard to keep himself in bounds and is so worried about whether he'll succeed. Consistent limits, though, become even more important now."


When your child calls out during a nightmare, respond right away. Respond with reassurance and he will feel safe again. For example, ask him to tell you all the people in his dream, then put them in a box one by one and firmly close the lid. He will not be fooled that they are really in there (he is more mature now), but telling the dream will help him master his feelings. As he learns this skill he will grow in (real) strength.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Back to School Countdown #12: Immunizations

School supplies and "school ready" minds are not the only things kids need to go back to school!  Utah State law requires students entering kindergarten and 7th grade to receive some immunizations before they start.

    In Utah...                      
                               Kindergartners must have received shots for:
DTP/DTaP/DT
Poliomeasles
Mumps
Rubella
Hepatitis B
Hepatitis AV
Aricella (chickenpox.) 

7th graders must have all the same immunizations, 
but also a Tdap booster.


Learn more about  immunizations by viewing 
this great clip from the Akron's Children Hospital in Ohio!


Make an appointment with your family doctor to receive these immunizations.  If you are uninsuredunderinsured or have Medicaid, you may qualify for discounts on immunizations.  Call the Utah County Health Department Immunization Hotline (801-851-7025) or visit www.UtahCountyHealth.org/immunizations for more information about discounts or other general immunization questions.  

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Back to School Countdown #13: Be a Powerful Community Builder

 
I was so tired and worn, having gone through another round of the verbal boxing with my teenager. What was I going to do next?  I had tried just about every suggestion and nothing seemed to make a difference. 
I was so angry that I almost exploded and had to excuse myself so that I could hopefully remain human in a public setting.  The next morning as I dropped kids off at school another mother approached me and asked “How are you?”  Instead of my usual fine I broke down and shared some of the difficulties I was experiencing.  She listened, shared some of her similar experiences and then gently offered some resources that meant help.
What a difference that very short encounter made.  I was able to share my concerns with someone who understood and had been through a similar experience.  I couldn’t believe what a difference it made to me. This and many other experiences have taught me that community is the key to building stronger individuals.
Each of us can build greater support for those doing the most difficult job in our society preparing the next generation. 
Assess the situations you are most closely associated with and ask “How I can make a difference in the lives of the children in my community?” “What type of support can I add to those within my own area of influence that will support and sustain children?”
As community members we are so powerful.  It is relationships with others that can solve problems. Take the time to get to know other parents and share your thoughts.  Build stronger relationships with those in your school community.  Be patient with those struggling.  Share your gifts with the others. As you start the new school year, think of ways that you as a member of your school community can strengthen others.

Back to School Countdown #14: Transition to Middle School

Studies show that children whose families take an interest in their education earn higher grades and test scores, miss fewer days of school, complete more homework, behave better and enjoy school more, and are more likely to graduate and go to college. 

Advancing from elementary school to middle school for a teen is hard! Everything is drastically different: scholastically, socially and even structurally. On average, grades plunge during their first year. Most eventually adapt and succeed. Some fall into a rut and never get back out. Parents must first understand how different this new environment and their child’s new demands to help them. Compared to elementary school, middle school offers fewer opportunities for decision making and classroom discussion, with more repetitious learning. Grades are more important so teens learn who is an A or C student. The biggest difference is the increase in homework which takes a couple more hours to complete.  So new middle schoolers have their adaptability, self-motivation and concentration put to the test.
Adaptability
They have to adapt to many teachers on every subject with different teaching styles, personalities and organizational demands. They must also quickly transition from one subject to another cognitively in a few minutes. 
Self Motivation
In middle school, students are expected to take more responsibility for themselves including hw, a locker, and extracurricular activities. Now academic success greatly depends on his/her inner desire.
Concentration
Teenagers must handle these new demands in an environment with many distractions. Each class fills up with a different set of students. The possibilities of new friendships and rejection greatly increase. Just finding their way through the hallways can be overwhelming at first. 
How have you helped your teens transition to middle school? Share your advice and comments!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Back to School Countdown #15: Reading

When I was growing up my sister spent a lot of time in the hospital having various surgeries and treatments for a rare brain defect she was born with. When she would leave to go to different parts of the country to see specialists my mother would often travel with her, and they wanted to bond with the rest of the kids (I have five siblings) while we were at home. They found one of the best ways to do that was to read some of our favorite books on video so we could watch and read along at home. One of our absolute favorites is the book called the MONSTER at the end of this Book by Jon Stone.


It is a hilarious book about being scared of monsters, but finding that there was nothing really to be afraid of in the end. It always made us laugh, even though we knew every page, and exactly how it ended.


Reading to your child is an essential foundation to becoming a strong and confident reader in school. It is also a great way to bond through having a little time each day to spend together. Daily reading with your child has also been shown to increase the yearly income of a person by $50,000 a year!

So what should you do?
  • Try to read 20 minutes every day, but even a few minutes can go a long way!
  • Start from birth and continue through elementary school (even if they can't read or see the page properly, you're helping your newborn to understand language and communication by listening to your voice)
  • If you haven't done this already, it is never too late to start!
    • Go to your local library and pick out a few books together
    • Often, teachers will send books home for children to read during the school year
    • Set up an exchange with friends and other parents to trade and get ideas on books that might interest your child
  • Let your child read things that interest them!!!!!!
    • If your child absolutely loves how-to books, chapter books with an interesting story and no pictures, or science books, let them be passionate about what they read (promoting life-long readers!)
    • If they haven't found an interest yet, try different genres. Just as we find our favorite foods, we have to find the books that make us want to read.
So what books does your child love?

For more information check out The Children's Reading Foundation page for parents.

Also, for help on getting your child ready for kindergarten check out READY! for Kindergarten.

Finally, for a database of over 800 children's books categorized by author, title, genre, and level check out EagerReaders.com.

Back to School Countdown #16: Teetering Tots 2 Teens

Over the past 15 years, I have juggled everything from Toddlers to Teens.  

Right now I have both, and let me tell you, the various challenges that come about are none less than mind boggling!  I firmly believe that in order for children to survive their first 18 years of life, the mother has to find a way to weather the storms of mommy hood one day at a time.



That, my friends is why I have decided to share my top 18 secrets to gliding through each day with ease as the school year approaches. 


1. I used to take all my kids school shopping together trying to make it a family outing.  Over many years of trying to pull this off, I decided that it is much more fun to take each child individually and call it a Mommy/Daddy kid date.  They will remember feeling special and you won't want to pull your hair out! If you have older kids, they will be much more likely to offer to help with the kids knowing they will get their one on one time next.




2. I have fought against myself on this advice for years and years, but I can honestly say that the days I drag my lazy self out of bed and exercise before I get the kids to school, it all flows more smoothly.  I am more alert and ready to deal with each of the children and their individual stresses or worries.


3.  I was about to give advice on always knowing where the kids shoes are the night before, but I don't have any.


4.  I just heard a report on the news tonight that 90% of home lunches were above the temperature safe to keep food at even with ice packs.  They advised to pack PBJ sandwiches, fruits, veggies and crackers to keep your kids safe.  Mayo and meat are the worst offenders of making the kids sick.


5.  My kids just know that when they get home from school they all start their homework.  I used to let them have a break until night time but after years of changing my rules around, I feel like right after school is the best.  The kids want to go play with friends so they are motivated to knock it out of the park.  I do let them grab a quick snack if they need one before they get going.  I have run into issues with having six daughters at the kitchen table needing help at the same time.  They all distract each other and I get frustrated.  To solve this problem, I let them pick a place they feel like they can concentrate and I rotate to check their work.


6.  Remember that when you go to parent teacher conferences that the teacher isn't out to get you.  OK, maybe this is just an issue I have but I try so hard to help every child that if there is any advice, I tend to get a wee bit defensive.  Keep your head up Charlie, all you can do is your best!


7.  Try and get your kids in the habit of emptying their back packs each day after school.  Heaven knows I have found one too many school lunches after a long weekend tucked nicely in the interior pocket of their bag.


8.  When the lady in front of you cuts you off in the car pool lane, just remember to think *what would Oprah do* Once I gave a lady a nasty look and then I had to see her every day after school.
PS. she deserved it.




9. Reading with ALL my kids every night can be pure torture.  Don't get me wrong, it is also some of my best memories discovering "The Secret Garden" or "Harry Potter" with my kids.  But, when each child has assigned reading for 20 minutes a night and you have 7 kids...well in my calculation that is 140 minutes and that is a LONG time every night to have patience with my Little's.  To combat freak outs by my children or myself I have pair them up and have them read to each other as I rotate rooms.  Good luck.  For years I just spent time with each kid until I had enough to do it this way!


10.  Keep the gas in your car above half way.  If my husband heard me write that, he would scoff.




11. When all else fails, turn up the radio and dance.  They kids love it, it burns calories from the treats you ate that the kids brought home from Jimmy's birthday, and it releases endorphins.  Who doesn't need that?


12.  I have found that during the school year it is great to assign each of my children with a day to make dinner.  There are only a few of them that can actually do it on their own, but it is a fun way to involve them in meal planning and teaching them healthy eating habits.  When they are invested, dinner time is much more fun.  I am not perfect at implementing this, but when I am it works fabulously.


13.  I buy in whole heartily with "Jim Fay's Love and Logic".  When it comes to school, I agree with him that if the kids leave something at home....you let them fail.  They learn to be self motivated to be responsible and it is much healthier to learn it in school when they are young in stead of as they get older in their job.  I am oversimplifying, in short: check out Love and Logic at your local library.


14.  When helping kids with homework or reviewing what they learned in school, always compliment them and be excited about their work.  Sometimes when I have so much to help them with I get frustrated, but this takes out the fun of learning.  School is just as much a learning experience for the child as it is for the parent and we want them to love to learn, not feel like they are a failure.


15.  *In my opinion* when large project types of homework come up such as the science fair, let the child do the work.  I believe it is fine to guide them but I can't help but giggle out loud as I walk around and enjoy "children's" projects that were obviously done by the parent.


16.  Remember to be nice to your children's school teachers.  I can't think of any job harder than being a parent of 7 except being a teacher to a classroom of 35.


17.  Set out clothing the night before.  Nuff said.


18.  Have a family desk calender where everyone can see it.  Add lessons, activities, who's in charge of dinner, and holidays.  Keep a 3 ring binder with plastic cover inserts for schedules the school sends home and notes you have to keep from the teachers.

Have I totally overwhelmed you?  Good, because I am!  Overall, ENJOY your kids.  They are the biggest challenge and the biggest blessings all rolled up into one package.  Don't get discouraged, moms are so hard on themselves naturally.  Do the best you can each day. Some days it will be enough and some days it just won't but keep trying.  

In the end it will all pay off!  






Do you have any tricks that have gotten you through schooling your children?  If so, we would love to hear!  And while you are here, take a minute to "like us" on Facebook by clicking  HERE.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Back to School Countdown #19: Problem Solving

This is my first blog, and it’s a story about one of our Help Me grow mothers.  She had her first baby as a single mom.  She had many questions and doubts, not only about the baby, but about her economic  situation, her living arrangements, co-parenting and health insurance for her baby.  She was carrying a heavy load when she first heard about Help Me Grow but agreed to send in the Ages and Stages questionnaires every two months.  Her baby is a quiet, sweet tempered child with a way of looking at strangers out of the side of her eyes.  In fact she puts so much meaning into her expressions and gestures that it gives “body language” a new meaning.  Mom spoke to her provider about her lack of words; Mom spoke to Help Me Grow about why her daughter's speech was a little low on the Ages and Stages Questionnaire.  Her doctor said “Wait a bit” and Help Me Grow sent her communication exercises and a speech evaluation referral.  It was decided to watch and wait for a month.
Yesterday  Mom called me to say she had figured out what to do about her daughter’s speech!  This was her idea:  Every time her daughter pointed or directed her mom to something she wanted, her mom would get face to face and say the words she wanted her daughter to repeat.  Only then would she give her the juice or toy, then clap for her success.

There was more to her idea:  The adults in her household would speak to her daughter in regular sentences, and to each other in regular sentences. Last, they would read books with conversations in them instead of reading “point-to” books.
The point of the story is not that each technique mentioned by the mom has been used successfully before.  The joyful point is that Mom called and said “I have figured out what to do for my daughter!"  Our Help Me Grow family record includes several outcomes for the situations Help Me Grow encounters.  My favorite one, and I think our families’ favorite one, is called “Solved Own Problem”.
If you've got a story about solving a problem in your own way, please post it!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Back to School Countdown #20: Ready! Set! School!

Parents can be their children's first and best teachers!
  Utah Parents as Teachers created a FREE website based program titled 
Ready! Set! School! to empower parents to teach.

On the website you can...
1. Learn what your child needs to be ready for kindergarten.
2. Get a set of activities designed to help your child learn and develop new skills. 
3. Find ways to give your child additional opportunities to learn.


Start using the program today for FREE by visiting www.readysetschool.org
You can also follow the Ready! Set! School! program on Facebook!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Back to School Countdown # 21: Family Dinners

As a child I can remember so many wonderful discussions around the dinner table.  We would discuss the events of the day, our disappointments, and then listen to the stories of our parents’ lives. 

Every night was different.  Some nights there was fighting among siblings and sometimes there was discussing how to help each other, but either way we were together and we were talking.  When you are trying to decide the rituals most important in your life remember family dinners are a great way to implement a good ritual that has multiple benefits:

·         More meal time at home was the single strongest predictor of better achievement scores and few behavioral problems

·         Family meals generate the largest amount of family talk and sophisticated word usage

·         There is a strong correlation between child vocabulary development and mealtime conversations

Research on Family Meals and Children’s Well Being- 2006, William J. Doherty, PHD

It is so difficult to make the transition of summer to school.  As a parent you are ready for the structure, but not the stress.  Implementing small rituals in your family’s routine will help you and your children adjust to the schedule of school.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Back to School Countdown #22 - H is for Hand

In preparing your kids for kindergarten make sure to READ TO THEM! Its fun and so important in preparing them for school. A great blog called Walking By the Way has a section dedicated to reading to your child and learning the ABCs. For each letter there is a book and activities that you can do with your child to learn about that letter. 


My favorite example was H is for Hand. They suggest the book to read and then there are activities to decorate the letter H, or to use your hand to make an octopus, or a tree. The pictures below are cute examples. Check out the website to learn more and find ideas!


Don't forget that crafts allow children to use scissors and glue in an appropriate setting which can improve their fine motor skills. Have fun!


Monday, August 1, 2011

Back to School Countdown #23: Steps to Table Manners

People judge others sometimes by the way they behave over the dinner table, whether it’s dinner at a friend’s house, business meeting with lunch or a date. So how can you teach your children to have good table manner and not burp, slurp and gross people out during dinner? Well, here are nine steps to begin the road to properness and etiquette:


1.      Point out the good things instead of all the wrong things your child does. Be specific too. Say, "I was so proud of you when you served yourself when the platter passed by."
  1. Don't make dinner an unpleasant "lecture time." That will turn kids off to manners, dinner and you.
  2. Be an example. Don't do things you don’t want your children to do. Check yourself.
  3. Don't label your child as a slob. Instead, point out the behavior in a neutral, practical way. For example: "It's a good idea to unfold your napkin so if food falls you won't stain your clothes."
  4. Approach manners as a game. One night a week, have a somewhat more formal dinner. Dress up, serve a special meal and expect more formal manners. That will help improve your kids' social graces.
  5. Teach your kids that manners don’t offend if there's nobody there. If you eat mashed potatoes with your fingers, and you're alone, or with a friend who has agreed to suspend that manner, it's not a violation.
  6. Make kids part of the tradition. Invite guests over and let kids help serve hors d'oeuvres. This helps them indirectly learn about the manners that surround eating.
  7. If you hear a burp….explain that in some cultures burping is a way of showing your appreciation, but here in America it's considered rude. If you were to do that in someone else's house, he might think you're a slob and may not want you to come back.
  8. Dine out once in a while. Fast food restaurants don't count. Try a nice restaurant and allow kids to order their own food, and assist in paying the bill and figuring out the tip.
Once again, please share your experiences, advice and success stories. Tell us what happened when you tried these steps with your children.
Source: Dr. Alex Packer, a psychologist and FamilyEducation.com