How to Combat Picky Eaters

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You're in the kitchen preparing a delicious new recipe that you found on Pinterest.  You're excited for the whole family to try it and love it.  Experimenting with new recipes is one of your favorite explorations.  Then dinner time comes.  Most everyone in the family seems to enjoy this meal, except for your toddler.  They start to cry and throw a fit, complaining that they don't like the food and don't want to finish eating.

What do you do?!  I guarantee that most parents have dealt with this issue, whether it's with an infant, toddler, younger or older child, and even adolescents.  Dr. William G. Wilkoff wrote a book titled Coping with a Picky Eater: A Guide for the Perplexed Parent.  It offers wonderful insights as to how to approach the problem of picky eating.  He shares 10 suggestions: 

1. Prepare meals with the four food groups.  Your child needs to learn early on that eating foods with all varieties of nutrients is important for healthy growth and development.  Start establishing this food rule early on in their life, and your child will learn to expect all four food groups on their plate. 

2. Do not customize meals for each child.  Do not offer special requests for dinner if they don't like what's put in front of them.  It is important to teach children that they can eat what their parents have prepared for them.  In this area, you should not be too flexible. 

3. Start with small proportions of each food.  Children will have a better sense of satisfaction when they finish their meal.  And of course, building a child's self-esteem and value is always critical!  Your child can always ask for more food later if they're still hungry. 

4. Do not force your child to eat.  Forcing does nothing beneficial in teaching your child to enjoy their food.  Parents can non-forcefully encourage their child to try at least one bit of their food.  By doing this, you can be satisfied in knowing they were obedient and put forth some effort, and your child will be more willing to try it next time it's offered. 

5. Present one meal and one snack at a time.  This ties in to tip #2.  Your child will be more distracted from eating their meal when they're offered multiple choices.  When you're offering a snack to your child, you can say, "Let's eat some carrots" instead of saying, "I have some carrots, celery, apple slices, and cheese slices.  Which do you want to eat now?" 

6. Allow your child to go to bed without eating.  This is really hard for a lot of parents.  Some worry that their children are getting malnourished and will not sleep as well during the night.  Breakfast is definitely the most important meal for children, followed by lunch, and then dinner.  Dinner is least important because young children typically go to bed shortly after.  Therefore, if they will not eat what's offered for dinner, feel good in knowing you're simply teaching them to eat what's offered and will not harm them. 

7. Do not give your child too many choices.  This goes back to tip #5.  Offering simpler, fewer choices to your child will teach them that they are in control of what they eat, and you get to control their choices.  A great way of teaching autonomy. 

8. Make meal time enjoyable.  Talk about daily events at the table.  Get children involved in the conversation.  Help them realize that meal time is a fun and social part of the day. 

9. Control and limit snacks and amounts of juice daily.  Children do not need to be constantly grazing all day long, especially with sugary snacks like juice.  Offering your child a larger proportioned snack fewer times during the day will keep their stomachs full and they won't feel the need to eat as often. 

10. It may take children 15-20 times exposed to new foods to acquire a taste for them.  Even though kids won't eat the food in front of them, the food is becoming more familiar to them.  Once it's familiar, they'll at least try a new food willingly.  So give your child time and space to try it on their own! 

Not all Praise is Created Equal

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I read an information sheet the other day about praise and I really liked it, so I decided to share! Praise is the practice of encouraging children by focusing on their efforts rather than their outcomes in order to build self-confidence and feelings of self-worth. Praise helps children understand that their efforts are appreciated, not just their accomplishments. 

At different stages of development, your child will require different types of praise.

Infants: This takes the form of smiling, hugging, holding and clapping. As babies get older, they benefit from praise that encourages them to safely explore their environment.

Toddlers: Praise that encourages exploration is the most helpful for toddlers. Research tells us that 3-year-old children are more likely to tackle challenges and to persist at a task, when their mothers have praised and encouraged their independence by age two.

Preschoolers: Encourage your preschooler to try appropriate and challenging tasks, like putting on shoes, and socks. Always acknowledge their efforts as well as successes.

NOT ALL PRAISE IS CREATED EQUAL

All this information was taken from a resource sheet by Talaris Institute. For more information, please visit their website! 

Why I Love the ASQ!

One of my favorite FREE Help Me Grow services is receiving the Ages & Stages Questionnaire (ASQ), a tool you can use to track your child’s development! The ASQ is available from birth until age five and a half. Here are some of my reasons why I love the ASQ!

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 1.      Let’s talk kindergarten readiness. Did you know that families who complete an ASQ at least once per year are more likely to have a child who thrives in kindergarten? Less than 50% of children with delays have had them addressed before kindergarten. And keep in mind that some delays are visible or readily apparent, while some are less so. The ASQ can help identify both. That alone makes the ASQ worth taking…and worth taking more than once.

2.      The ASQ is a friendly questionnaire that helps you identify & celebrate your child’s strengths. Your child is unique, and lucky for you, the ASQ will help identify your child’s strengths. Completing the ASQ should be fun. Remember to celebrate your child’s success no matter how big or small it may be.

3.      On the flip-side, the ASQ may ask a question that you just hadn’t thought of trying with your child. These types of questions prompt you to try something new with your child! Ask your care coordinator to send you supplemental developmental activities to continue to strengthen your child’s development.

4.      But honestly my favorite part… the ASQ pinpoints areas you can discuss with your doctor. I don’t know about you, but I HATE going to the doctor and being sent on my way a few minutes later without having time to formulate questions I would like to ask.

5.      Baby journaling. Alright for those of you who are big journal writers, you can put a copy of the ASQ in your baby’s journal to highlight developmental milestones. Admit it, we’ve all looked back on the baby books our parents did for us and oohed and aahed at the milestones our parents recorded for us… or worse, the empty blanks our busy parents never recorded. Add the ASQ into the journal as a supplement or go ahead and just add the ASQ in there and call it good.

6.      The ASQ is an evidence-based tool. For the nerd in me, this is important to me for valid results. A ton of research and testing went into the ASQ. The ASQ asks questions that are sensitive enough to pick up on developmental issues that your child may need more support with.

The ASQ is a great tool to monitor your child’s development. It highlights your child’s strengths and can also identify areas of concern. If you do have any concerns, Help Me Grow can send you information, answer tough parenting questions, and help you connect with local community resources. 

Are you ready to try one out? Click HERE to complete the ASQ online now, or click HERE to receive one by mail! 

Monsters under the Bed

This is what pure joy looks like :) 

I am 100% obsessed with my nephew. I know I am slightly biased, but I am pretty sure the world revolves around him. The other day my sister posted this facebook status, 


"I think Aiden has officially started having little nightmares  He's woken up crying from his naps a few times and is pretty inconsolable for a few minutes, but this morning he woke up at 2:30am crying and calling for me. Through his tears he said "I scared" and "I want to sleep in Mommy's bed." It broke my mommy heart"

It broke my auntie heart, so I wanted to research it more. I had no idea that kids at young as two years old could experience nightmares. Our wonderful child developmental specialist broke down nightmares into three  different categories.

Night terrors:
The child is not aware and cannot be woken up
The child won't be aware or remember it
Time is limited, and the child will come out of it on their own
What to do: Make sure your child is safe and stay nearby until the night terror is over

Nightmares:
Child is sort of awake
Child is distressed
Its like a bout of mini-PTSD from the day
What to do: If you are aware of a stressful situation during the day, give your child a way to externalize their distress. Have some extra play time and make sure to end the day on a happy, calming note. 

Neural Discharge:
Child is on the verge of a developmental leap. Fears will crop up at periods of new and rapid development. Your child might be exhausted but their brain is on overdrive because they are learning something new- for example how to stand, walk or talk. Their brain will be firing all sorts of signals which can keep a child awake, or cause them to wake up in the middle of the night.   
What to do: Two hours before bedtime, practice the milestone as much as the child wants (like standing up and down 100x), and then one hour before bedtime, have slowdown time to help their minds slow down and get to sleep. 

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Nightmares can also occur during transition periods like moving houses, getting a new sibling, or starting school. You can help ease these types of nightmares by talking about the transition in positive ways and easing the child into the situation. 

Here are 7 tips to help a child learn to cope with fears and nightmares found from this website:

• Comfort your child and take their fears seriously, but don't add your own anxiety to hers.
• Look under the bed, in the closet. Let your child understand that this is for her comfort, not because you recognize danger.
• Firm limits on bedtime are reassuring.
• A comforting loving hug always helps.
• Help your child learn ways of comforting herself when she wakes in fear. She can distract herself by singing songs, making up stories, or thinking pleasant thoughts.
• Throughout the day, model your own way of handling your aggression.
• Read fairy tales together because they encourage young children to face their own fears and angry feelings.

If you have had any experiences or advice on dealing with nightmares in young children, let us know below!