Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Feelings and Emotions


From the moment we are born, we begin to express emotions and feelings. For the rest of our lives we experience a wide variety of emotions that can dictate our everyday lives. For you as a parent, it is important to recognize your child's feelings and begin to teach them how to manage their emotions. 
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Dr. John Gottman has been studying marriage, couples, and parent-child relationships for more than three decades. In his book, Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child: The Heart of Parenting he says that when you help your child understand and handle their feelings you are developing their emotional IQ. Your parenting style greatly affects your child's emotions. Some styles lead children to feel that their parent is ignoring their emotions, punishing them for their emotions, or not giving them guidance. To allow your child to feel valued and comforted, her emotions need to be accepted, along with understanding the appropriateness of their feelings. 
The emotional coaching style is the style that best nurtures a child's emotional development. 
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Here is a list of the five steps of emotional coaching:


Be aware of the child's emotions. 

Recognize that emotions are an opportunity to connect.

Listen with empathy.
Help the child name emotions.
Set limits and find solutions.


It's not always easy to be an emotion coach, but the more you try, the better you will become. As you build trust with your child your relationship will become closer and that is something you will always cherish!

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