Intentional Parenting

Have you ever felt inundated with information as a parent? Ever had too many people telling you the "right" way to address a parenting challenge? With so many sources of information, it is easy to become overwhelmed. It can be difficult to know where to turn. 

Experts?

As parents we often imagine that because of all the "experts" available to help us, others know best and we are incompetent. In my years of mothering perhaps the most valuable lesson I have learned is that when it comes to my own kids, I am the expert. It is my fundamental right and parental inheritance to be the one who knows my kids best, understands what they need more than anyone else. This does not mean I will never have questions. It is not to say that I can never look to others for help; family, friends, pediatricians, books on parenting, current research, the list of resources goes on and on. But that's just it. These are resources, not absolutes. As parents we must wade through all the opinions and advice and find some way of measuring what is right, what is best, for our kids. 

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For example, how many approaches to potty training have you heard? For some families, a timer is the only way. For others, the ping of that alarm is akin to the bell of a boxing ring- it's go time. Some swear by pull-ups. I detest them. So who is right? What is THE BEST WAY to potty train. In my experience, that answer will be different for every parent, and perhaps more to the point, for every child. How do you decide?

 

What Are Your Goals?

I suggest an intentional parenting approach. I invite you to take some time to consider and formally articulate what is most important to you as a parent. What are your three most significant responsibilities? Establishing an intentional focus by which I can measure all decisions and advice has been an invaluable approach for me. To learn more about intentional parenting and hear my three fold focus, watch my presentation here. Then come back and share your three things so we can all learn from each other.

Make time for Playtime :)

Playtime is a child's most important work! Here are some ideas to help make the best out of playtime!

Encourage Children to Play

To children, play is just fun. However, playtime is as important to their development as food and good care. Playtime helps children be creative, learn problem-solving skills and learn self-control.  Good, hardy play, which includes running and yelling, is not only fun, but helps children to be physically and mentally healthy.

Children Need Playmates: 

It is important for children to have time with their peers.  By playing with others, children discover their strengths and weaknesses, develop a sense of belonging, and learn how to get along with others. Consider finding a good children’s program through neighbors, local community centers, schools, or your local park and recreation department.

Parents Can be Great Playmates: 

Join the fun! Playing Monopoly, reading, or coloring with a child gives you a great opportunity to share ideas and spend time together in a relaxed setting.

Playtime is a fabulous way to teach children in a fun and loving environment. It helps the children learn many different skills that they will use throughout their whole lives. Playgroup that is offered at the South Franklin Community Center in Provo, Utah is a wonderful way to help your children meet friends and play with children that are their own age. 

Where I found some of the information: 

http://childdevelopmentinfo.com/child-development/play-work-of-children/pl5/

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn/201409/playing-children-should-you-and-if-so-how

Let's Talk About Bike-Riding

With the Spring-like weather we've been having lately maybe it's a good time to teach your child to ride a bike!

When it comes to children and bikes, here are a few concerns parents have shared with us:

• Am I the only one that struggles with teaching my child how to ride a bike? 
• I'm worried that my child still doesn't know how to ride a bike. Is this something to be worried about? 
• Is there an easy, but safe way to teach my child to ride a bike? 

We all know that our children are not born with all the talents in the world. They might excel in one area of development, but struggle in another. Some children catch on quickly when learning to ride a bike, whereas for others, it takes some extra practice.

I've heard about several methods parents have used to teach their child to ride a bike. There's the "hold onto their seat" method, the "training wheels" method, or even the "let them go" method where parents set them free to learn for themselves how to ride. Recently, I've come across another method that many parents have given a two thumbs up rating. I call this the "balancing bike" method.

The Balancing Bike Method

This method is meant to be a step-by-step progression approach to easily and safely teach your child to ride a bike (citation). In the beginning it will isolate major individual components of bike riding and then bring them together in the end to master the skill. The major components for riding a bike include learning how to balance, brake, pedal, and steer. This video gives great instruction on how to use the balancing bike method, but before jumping into the video, take time to get your child ready to ride.

Deciding when to teach your child

Generally, children are physically and mentally ready to learn how to ride a bike between the ages of three and six – this of course is not a set in stone rule. Remember not to force your child to learn to ride, but instead keep it FUN!!

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Bike fitting

Buying a bike that fits your child is crucial. I know it's tempting to buy a too-large of bike and think he or she will eventually grow into it. Unfortunately, this can slow down or even completely halt your child's learning progress. When riding large, cumbersome bikes, children are more likely to lose control and crash. To ensure safety, he or she should feel comfortable and in control of the bike at all times.

What is the right size of bike for your child? According to experts from REI, they recommend the "standover" test, which instructs your child to stand over the top tube of the bike with both feet planted on the ground (see photo below). You will know the bike is the right height if there is a 2" to 4" clearance between him or her and the top tube.

Click here if you need instructions for online bike fitting.

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Also, before buying a bike, make sure you can adjust the seat position to a comfortable height for your child. Remember, for both kids and adults, the seat should be situated so legs never fully straighten during a down stroke. It's good to have a little bend in the knee at the bottom of your pedaling motion.

Further adjustments that might be helpful are explained on this website.

(Source of information: http://www.rei.com/expertadvice/articles/bike+fit.html)

Watch the How-To video

For another helpful website for teaching the balancing bike method, click here.

We would love to hear from you and your experiences with teaching your child to ride a bike. Please comment below!!

Learning to Speak

            Sometimes as mothers and fathers we actually do the right thing for our child without even knowing it.  When the doctor handed me my baby for the first time I began to talk to her softly.  I think I told her I loved her and was glad she was with us.  When I changed her diaper for the first time she was awake, a little fussy, and looked so small and vulnerable that I could not help but talk to her.  I don’t remember what I said specifically but I spoke softly in a sing-song voice that I did not know I had.  She calmed down when she heard me speak so I continued; in fact, I talked to her a lot.  Not just when I changed her diaper but when I held her, carried her, played with her, traveled with her, pretty much all the time except when she was asleep. I was already succeeding as a great parent and I didn't even know it!

I found out later that it is important to a child’s language development to begin talking to them when they are brand new babies.  How do babies learn to speak?  What can a parent do to help?  I learned that by the time my little girl turned two and a half, she would have 600 words in her vocabulary and by age five or six she would know thousands of words. Wow!

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Babies, toddlers and children progress at different rates.  Just as some babies are early crawlers; and some are late walkers, children gain language at different rates as well. All babies; regardless of their culture or native language, share the same steps to language learning. They begin with eye contact and will look at an object they want while reaching and vocalizing. The pre-linguistic part of language development begins with blowing bubbles, vocalizations, and crying. They do what works.

Steps to Language 

They begin talking with single words, usually a noun.  These first words can mean a whole sentence.  For example “up” could mean, “Mom I want you to pick me up.” These words are called holophrases, whole phrases which are full of meaning, because they are self-contained. Then children will begin using words in a telegraphic fashion.  Basically they only use the words that will convey what they want like “baby go”.  After the telegraphic stage they learn words at an amazing rate.  Two-year-olds, for example, often learn two to three new words each day. Three year olds have some trouble with pronouns but by the time they are four and five they will have mastered them. Four year olds will speak in complete and compound sentences, they will even make up words to fit their needs (Crosser, 2008)

Helping language development    

            The first way parents can help their child in language development is speaking in the way I did with my new born infant.  I did not know it at the time but this style of speech is called parentese and it provides a scaffold for the learning of language. Parentese is not baby talk, it involves using a slightly higher than normal pitch and exaggerated vowel sounds.  You need to use short and simple sentences, along with repetition.

            One of the best ways to help your baby in their language development is to provide an environment free of abuse and excess stress.  This will free your baby’s brain to create the necessary language connections. Encourage any attempts they make in their language development.  Above all, relax and enjoy your child, you are probably already doing most of the things that will help your child with their language development.


Contact Help Me Grow for more information! 801-691-5322

Yer Always After Me Lucky Charms!

St. Patrick's Day is right around the corner and there are so many fun activities you can do with your kids to celebrate! 

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Green Pepper 4-Leaf Clovers!

What you'll need:

• green pepper
• green paint
• paint brush
• paper

While you're making these fun designs, you can share the legend of the 4-leaf clover with your kids! They might find it interesting to know that the 4 leaves represent Hope, Love, Faith, and Luck!

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Edible Rainbow!

What you'll need:

• Fruit Loop Cereal, Skittles, or M&Ms
• Cotton balls
• Paper
• White glue

Learn about the legend of how leprechauns keep their pots of gold at the end of rainbows. If you're good they may share their gold with you!

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Paint the Rainbow!

What you'll need

• Watercolor or acrylic paints
• paintbrush
• paper

You can even help your kids paint a pot of gold at one end of the rainbow! Just be creative.  

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If you have older kids...

Print out fun Crossword puzzles and Word Searches at this website.

Check out our Pinterest Board for even more St. Patrick's Day ideas!
And don't forget to wear GREEN!

What are some of your family's St. Patrick's Day traditions?

The Infant Cereal Question

Baby's First Food

With my first baby I was so excited to introduce solid foods. Watching his expressions as he tried new things was better than watching the A&E production of Pride and Prejudice...almost. As my others came along I developed a sense of how terribly fast it all goes. (I also had a better sense of the thirteen-month-mess with which I would be contending). So with each child I was less excited for that developmental milestone. It meant they were growing up, no longer infants. Like all milestones, it was exciting, but a little sad.

A few of our kids also had allergies- all kinds of allergies. Our poor first drew the genetic short straw inheriting my asthma and allergies as well as my husband's eczema and allergies. It was a rough few years for him. So we were careful with what we introduced and when. Some of the kids had allergic reactions to infant cereal so my husband and I worked with our pediatrician to come up with alternate plans. I was relieved to discover how simple and inexpensive it was to prepare our own foods instead of buying jars. This meant our babies were very soon eating the same foods that we were. If we had peas, carrots, spinach, squash, or whatever for dinner, so did the babe. Once a month I would shop for fruits and veggies and spend one Saturday morning steaming, pureeing, and freezing into ice cube trays all that our developing baby would need. Basically I did this three or four times per baby because by then, they had moved on from purees.

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The Cereal Shift

In our recent Welcome Baby home visitations, we have noticed an increasing trend toward not introducing infant cereal at all. We are curious as to why. We determined a post with some research about this subject might be welcomed as there seem to be so many with questions. As I pose questions and present research, I want to be upfront about the fact that my husband and I did not feed some of our babies cereal. This was a decision made child by child with careful thought, research, and guidance from our trusted pediatrician. Here are some of the reasons families have recently given for not wanting to feed their babies rice cereal:

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• Concerns about empty calories
• No nutritional value
• Damaging or cancerous effects
• Breast or formula milk is enough
• There is no need to 
• Friends or family didn't 

In addition to the online research I studied to find answers to these questions, I called my trusted pediatrician's office and spoke with our favorite pediatric nurse Cheri because I wanted a more personal response. I wanted to know what my pediatrician and staff had to say. 

Empty calories and no nutritional value?

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While rice cereal may not be as nutrient rich as breast milk, formula, or even many other food options, it is not empty calories. Cereal can be prepared with the breast milk and formula to enhance the intake of nutrient rich calories. Nurse Cheri described how around six months old infants' nutritional needs are changing. They develop a greater need for iron while at the same time, the supply of iron in breast milk and formula is depleting. According to Nurse Cheri, "there is more iron in formula, but the iron is more easily absorbed from breast milk." While there are other iron rich foods available (spinach, liver, red meat, and beans for example) these are not easily digested. Transitioning baby to solids from an exclusive milk diet ought to be a gentle, progressive process. Iron enriched cereals fit the bill. They provide the essentials for the developing child in a gentle, digestible way. "Juice is empty calories," Nurse Cheri went on to say, "there is no need for all of that sugar, no compensatory value. With cereal, they are getting the iron they really do need." WebMD said the following, “A common first baby food is a single-grain, iron-fortified cereal such as rice cereal or oatmeal. These baby cereals have the advantage of boosting your baby’s iron intake, and they’re easy to digest. Just mix with a little baby formula, breast milk, or even water on occasion.” Rice cereal is easily digested and hypoallergenic. These factors make it a natural choice as a first introduction and means to ensure enough iron is in your baby's diet. Once introduced, you can soon move on to more complex whole grains, fruits, and veggies. WebMD is also a good source for knowing how to determine when your baby is ready for solids.

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In addition, concern about the growing epidemic of obesity is understandable and warranted, but growing babies, beginning at six to eight months need more calories. Babies need to stock up for the incredible growth and development of the coming months. Consider the skills of crawling and walking and how much more energy they require than anything baby has previously expended. And if you have ever had an infant who was sick for a few days, you know how essential those stores can be. My four year old recently had the flu and didn't eat much for three days. He is now skin and bones. I wish he had had more fat to help him mange that short illness. I found an interesting story from Good Morning America which explores one pediatrician's claim that white rice cereal is a "gateway to obesity." He makes some interesting points, but has little evidence to support his theory.

Damaging, potentially cancerous effects?

A 2012 Consumer Report brought attention to the concern that arsenic had been found in many rice products. While a small degree of organic arsenic is to be expected and not so much of a concern, it is the inorganic arsenic residue from pesticides that has consumers concerned. Babycenter.com published an article on this subject which included the following, “The U.S. Food and Drug Administration says this about what parents should do when it comes to infant rice cereal: 'Consider alternatives for an infant's first solid food. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, there is no medical evidence that rice cereal has any advantage over other grains as a first solid food... .' However, “The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has so far made no specific recommendation, saying additional research is needed. The AAP recommends serving children a variety of foods to reduce their exposure to arsenic in rice products. And your child's doctor may suggest feeding your baby other foods instead, such as pureed vegetables, fruit, and meat, and grain cereals such as oats and barley." My personal recommendation is to see for yourself what your pediatrician suggests. To read about the AAP's recommendations and the "Bright Futures" program (which my pediatrician uses), follow the link to Promoting Healthy Nutrition.

Isn't breast or formula milk enough? Is there a need?

Again, the issue is the changing nutritional needs of developing babies. At first, the primary concern is the iron. There is a need to supplement an exclusively milk based diet in order to meet that need for iron. Nurse Cheri explained, "As the intake of solids increases, the need for milk decreases over time." Eventually, as children incorporate more foods into their diet, their nutritional needs will be met primarily with the foods they eat rather than milk. According to the Mayo Clinic, "Breast milk or formula is the only food your newborn needs. However, by ages 4 months to 6 months, most babies are ready to begin eating solid foods as a complement to breast-feeding or formula-feeding." They recommend the following progression when it comes to introducing foods to infants:

Start with baby cereal. Mix 1 tablespoon of a single-grain, iron-fortified baby cereal with 4 tablespoons (60 milliliters) of breast milk or formula. Many parents start with rice cereal. Once your baby gets the hang of swallowing runny cereal, mix it with less liquid and gradually increase the amount you offer. For variety, you might offer single-grain oatmeal or barley cereals.

Add pureed fruits, vegetables, and meats. Add foods gradually, one at a time.

Offer finely chopped finger foods. As babies become accustomed to differences in texture and digestion, continue to expand their exposure and offer a balanced diet. Encourage them to eat on their own and to explore at mealtimes.

 Friends and family don't use cereal

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At Welcome Baby we support and encourage looking to your community of friends and family for ideas, guidance and even advice as you parent. We want parents to rely on the wealth of resources available to them. We also encourage parents to make educated, informed decisions. If you find your friends and family are not feeding cereal to their babies, ask them why. Perhaps their reasoned decisions will make sense for you. If they do not have a substantial reason, perhaps further research and inquiry are advisable. If the concerns are about how infant cereal is processed, make your own. If the concern is that you prefer whole grains, try oat or barley. Once again, the main objective is the iron with which infant cereals are fortified. We encourage all parents to decide intentionally and carefully as you talk with your pediatricians about how to ensure the healthy nutrition of your child. Happy feeding!