Friday, October 30, 2015

DIY Haunted Candy Cottage

Image Source
Every year, friends and families get together to celebrate ghosts and goblins on Halloween. This year try something different with your little ones. Haunted Candy Houses! This spin off of a Christmas tradition is fun for everyone.

What you will need:
  • Paper plate or cardboard
  • Spoon or knife (plastic) for applying frosting
  • Graham crackers (4 or 6 whole rectangles per house)
  • Frosting: Vanilla or white (amount varies on number of desired colors)
  • Food coloring: green, purple, orange, black
  • Halloween candy! Here are some ideas:
    • Candy Corn/ Candy Pumpkins
    • Reese's Pieces
    • Halloween Peeps
    • Black Licorice
    • Gummy Worms                                                                                  
Image Source 
Step One:
Cut the graham crackers into shapes for house foundation.
  1. Two pointed rectangle: 
    • Cut of edges of two rectangles (reference pictures)
  2. Four Squares: There will be two walls and two for the roof  
    • Break two rectangle crackers in half to get four squares
*If you want a bigger house, you can use whole graham crackers for the roof and sides. This would require 6 whole crackers instead of the four. 

Step Two:                                                                                            
1.      Use a thick amount of icing to connect each side of the house together.    
2.      Begin with one of the pointed graham cracker pieces. Apply icing to edges and hold side crackers on one at a time for a few seconds.
3.      Close the open side with the last pointed graham cracker.
Tip: Wait a few minutes to add roof. Works better if foundation is stable.
4.      Apply icing to each roof piece, and gently hold on top of house (one at a time). 
5.      Fill in any cracks with icing

Step Three:
Let the house sit for few hours (or overnight) while frosting hardens.

Step Four:
1.      Add desired food color to frosting.
2.      Apply to outside of house. (A variety of colors is encouraged!)
Step Five:
Decorate with candy! Help your child get creative and have fun with this Halloween activity. 


-Hannah

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Serve and Return


Photo Credit
Anyone who has played volleyball or tennis knows that the ball is in play when the first serve soars over the net.  And that the play is over when one player wins and leaves the court. Something similar happens between a baby and his parent when the baby catches the parent’s attention with sounds and body movement (serve) and the parent responds with direct eye contact, soft sounds, questions and touch (return).  This play can go on quite happily until the baby tires.  It is the basis for healthy attachment and the foundation for many developmental skills such as speech and problem solving.


But - If the mom stops the play before the baby is ready, he will try every skill he has learned to get her back, from persuasive coos to sharp screams, to whole body movements and sad crying.  The Still Face experiment done in 1975 shows this sequence very clearly.  It demonstrates  how completely engaged baby and Mom are until Mom is requested to show a blank, unmoving face to her child .  In some painfully long minutes the baby tries every “serve”  she can think of to entice mom back into play.  Watch her when she succeeds.



The  most important influence on early brain development is the real-life serve and return interaction with caring adults.  This only happens with real people, in real time.  The next time your baby serves you an invitation to play, get on eye level and return that serve with one of your own grins.  You’ll both be winners at that game.

-Robin

Friday, October 23, 2015

Red Ribbon Week Activities

Photo Credit
“Respect Yourself. Be Drug Free” is this year’s theme for Red Ribbon Week. This national drug prevention campaign invites members of every community to take a stand against drugs. This year, the time to celebrate is October 23-31. As parents, educators, and members of society, we have the chance to help create drug free communities for our children.

Red Ribbon Week began in 1985, after a Drug Enforcement Administration Agent lost his life in the stand against drugs. The National Family Partnership started sponsoring the cause in 1988. Their goal was to use Red Ribbons as a symbol to educate youth in communities, and to encourage them to join drug prevention activities. With the help of neighbors and schools, we can work together to bring awareness and advocate for drug free youth. 

Parents can help their children celebrate Red Ribbon Week this year by organizing activities within their home and community. Here are some ideas to make this year's celebration unforgettable. 

Home Activities:
Photo Credit
  • Use this week as an opportunity to talk to your children about the dangers of drugs and alcohol 
  • Prevent prescription drug abuse by securing and monitoring your medicine cabinets 
  • Come up with a theme for next year's 2016 Red Ribbon Week, and enter the contest
  • Wear Red! Whether it's a ribbon or a shirt, wear red throughout the week to show your support
  • Sign the Red Ribbon Pledge!

Community Activities:
  • Get to know the parents of your children's friends. Establishing a relationship can give you an opportunity to work together to monitor your child's behavior and set limits 
  • Get the neighbors together to discuss what to do when any suspicious activity is observed in neighborhood 
  • Talk to your child's teacher about fun Red Ribbon Week celebration ideas
    • Examples: Wear Red Day, Put A Cap On Drugs (Hat Day), Put A Sock On Drugs Day, Be On A Drug Free Team Day (Favorite Team Gear), Shade Out Drugs Day (Sunglasses)

Tell us how your family celebrates Red Ribbon Week in a comment below! 


For more information about Red Ribbon Week, click here
-Hannah

Friday, October 16, 2015

Teal Pumpkins

Photo Credit
Halloween can be full of frightening sights, especially for parents whose children have food allergies. One in every 13 children are affected by food allergies in the United States. Their reactions can range from mild responses to a severe, and potentially deadly, anaphylaxis reaction. Parents and children can spend a lot of time regularly checking labels and finding alternatives to avoid reactions. Holidays, especially Halloween can require extra precautions to ensure safety.  The fun of trick-or-treating can quickly turn stressful as parents have to sort through candy before their child can have any, often this can be a difficult task, as many fun size candies don't list ingredients of allergens. Other parents face their child's disappointment of not being able to fully participate in the day's activities.

 In 2014 the Food Allergy Research & Education (FARE) launched the Teal Pumpkin Project, to make Halloween safer and happier for the 15 million Americans with food allergies. In the past year, the project has spread to all 50 states and 7 countries.

Photo Credit
The Teal Pumpkin Project works to make it easier for families with allergies to enjoy the festivities. A teal pumpkin or sign on the porch indicates to parents and children that a home has non-allergen treats, making it easier for parents to find houses that have a treat their child can enjoy. To participate, simply place a teal pumpkin on your porch or a sign to indicate that you have allergen-friendly treats for trick-or-treaters. You can handout glow sticks, stickers, pencils, spider rings, or other allergen-friendly treats and toys. So while you are out doing your shopping, pick up some allergy-friendly treat options and an extra pumpkin and some teal paint to make the holiday a little more enjoyable for everyone.

 For more ideas and other information on how to get involved, visit The Teal Pumpkin Project.



-Caitlin

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Orchid Children


Photo Credit
Orchids are tricky: they need just the right type of care to bloom. Water them too much (or too little), give them too little sunlight (or too much), and they wilt and wither. But with the right kind of care, orchids beautifully bloom – each in their unique way. Could the same be true for children?

A recent theory states that some children are “orchids”, while others are more like dandelions. Dandelion children are very sturdy: they need love, of course, but it doesn’t matter so much what specific care they get. Orchid children are much more sensitive: they notice the little things going on in the people and places around them – both the positive and the negative. Is one of these flowers better than the other? No, we need both of these types of flowers – and many more. Most likely, there are as many sorts of children as there are sorts of flowers! But the orchid-dandelion analogy is helpful in understanding why some children seem so much more difficult to parent than others – and why it is worth it to try and find the best way to care for each of these ‘flowers.’

Orchid children can be challenging because they are more vulnerable to negative influences. They 
Photo Credit
might have a more delicate temperament: even as little babies, they startle easily, cry a lot, and need a lot of soothing. They also might have genes that predispose them to certain patterns of behavior and emotions, such as problems with anxiety or defiance. But while orchid children are more vulnerable on the one hand, they also can bloom more exquisitely when they receive loving care and attention.

One group of researchers studied children that were easily angered – even at age 7 months – and compared them with children with a more mellow temperament. They found that anger-prone 15-month-olds were very willing to help their moms clean up some toys – but only if their moms had been responsive to their needs when they were 7 months old. The same children were extremely unwilling to cooperate with their dads – but only if they had an insecure attachment. If they felt secure with their dad, they eagerly helped him out! In other words: these challenging little children that easily became upset and mad were the most enthusiastic little helpers when they felt loved and connected with their parents!
Photo Credit

Another study found that 2-year-olds with a “difficult temperament” (who are very emotional and difficult to soothe) actually had fewer behavioral problems at age 3 than toddlers with an easier temperament – but only when their moms were very responsive to their needs. The same researchers also followed children until they were 10 years old. Again, the ones who were more vulnerable and prone to anger were the ones who were most willing to cooperate with their parents – but only if they had received positive parenting between 2 and 6 years of age. 

The bottom line? If you have a child that is particularly challenging and hard to parent, you may have an orchid child. It is likely that he or she will thrive all the more with loving support and positive parenting. Challenging? Certainly, but the rewards are worth it! 

-Ilse


More reading:
The Science of Success, by David Dobbs, The Atlantic: http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2009/12/the-science-of-success/307761.

Studies cited:
·         Kochanska G, Aksan N, & Carlson JJ (2005). Temperament, relationships, and young children’s receptive cooperation with their parents. Developmental Psychology, 41, 648–660
·         Kochanska, G., Boldt, L. J., Kim, S., Yoon, J. E., & Philibert, R. A. (2015). Developmental interplay between children’s biobehavioral risk and the parenting environment from toddler to early school age: Prediction of socialization outcomes in preadolescence. Development and Psychopathology,27(3), 775–790. http://doi.org/10.1017/S0954579414000777
·         Kochanska, G., & Kim, S. (2014). A Complex Interplay Among the Parent-Child Relationship, Effortful Control, and Internalized, Rule-Compatible Conduct in Young Children: Evidence from Two Studies. Developmental Psychology, 50(1), 10.1037/a0032330. http://doi.org/10.1037/a0032330

Friday, October 9, 2015

20 Commandments of Toddler Discipline

Many parents expect the toddler years to be difficult, but effective discipline techniques can make the “terrible two’s” a little easier to handle. The following is a synopsis of an article found here. Remember that every family and every child is different, and some of these may be more effective than others. Pick a few of these to try out, and let us know how it goes!

Expect rough spots. Certain situations and times of the day tend to trigger bad behavior. Give your child a heads-up so that s/he is more prepared to switch gears.

Pick your battles. If you say no 20 times a day, it will lose its effectiveness. Prioritize behaviors into large, medium, and those too insignificant to bother with.

Use a prevent defense. Make your house kid-friendly, and have reasonable expectations.

Make your statements short and sweet. Speak in brief sentences, such as "No hitting." This is much more effective than "Chaz, you know it's not nice to hit the dog." You'll lose Chaz right after "you know."

Distract and redirect. Obviously, you do this all day. But when you try to get your child interested
Photo Credit
in a different activity, s/he will invariably go back to what s/he was doing -- just to see whether s/he can get away with it. Don't give up. Even if your child unrolls the entire toilet-paper roll for the 10th time today, calmly remove him/her from the bathroom and close the door.

Introduce consequences. Your child should learn the natural outcomes of his/her behavior -- otherwise known as cause and effect.

Don't back down to avoid conflict. Stick to your guns. Later, you'll be happy you did.

Anticipate bids for attention. If you don't provide something for your toddler to do when you're busy, s/he will find something -- and the results may not be pretty.

Focus on the behavior, not the child. Always say that a particular behavior is bad. Never tell your child that s/he is bad.

Give your child choices. This will make him/her feel as if s/he has got a vote. Just make sure you don't offer too many options and that they're all things that you want to accomplish, such as, "It's your choice: You can put your shoes on first, or your coat."

Don't yell. But change your voice. It's not the volume, but your tone that gets your point across.

Catch your child being good. If you praise your child when s/he behaves well, s/he will do it more often -- and will be less likely to behave badly just to get your attention.

Act immediately. Don't wait to discipline your toddler. S/he won't remember why s/he is in trouble more than five minutes after the bad behavior.

Be a good role model. If you're calm under pressure, your child will take the cue. And if you have a temper tantrum when you're upset, expect that s/he will do the same.

Don't treat your child as if she's an adult. S/he really doesn't want to hear a lecture from you -- and won't be able to understand it. The next time s/he throws his/her spaghetti, don't break into the "You Can't Throw Your Food" lecture. Calmly evict him/her from the kitchen for the night.

Use time-outs -- even at this age. Reserve time-outs for particularly inappropriate behaviors -- if your child bites his friend's arm, for example -- and use a time-out every time the offense occurs. (Even more effective is a “Time-In” – see more information about that, here.)
Don't negotiate with your child or make promises. Try to avoid saying anything like, "If you behave, I'll buy you that doll you want." Otherwise, you'll create a 3-year-old whose good behavior will always come with a price tag.

Shift your strategies over time. What worked beautifully when your child was 15 months probably isn't going to work when s/he is 2.

Don't spank. Although you may be tempted at times, remember that spanking can teach kids that it is okay to hit if you are bigger.

And most importantly:
Remind your child that you love him/her. It's always good to end a discipline discussion with a positive comment. This shows your child that you're ready to move on and not dwell on the problem. It also reinforces the reason you're setting limits -- because you love him/her.


-Cami

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Tips for Tantrums

Oh Tantrums...something every parent goes through, right? But why do they happen? What can I do when my child has a tantrum? Hopefully these tips can help you and your child work through tantrums.


First, lets face it, tantrums are not fun. They always seem to happen at the most inconvenient time and place. Maybe it’s at the store or a bank or a hospital. Sometimes it happens in public and that’s when it’s most embarrassing, right? Sometimes children get so out of control that you don’t even recognize your child anymore. They went from being so sweet to a ball of chaos all because you said it’s time to leave the playground and go home. “No! I want to play!”
So why do Tantrums happen?
Well, usually it’s because the child might be hungry, bored, tired, stressed, or overstimulated.
Sometimes, however, it might be their age.
If your child is 18-36 months, then tantrums are normal. Sorry…
During this age kids are trying to figure out their feelings and making their own decisions. It’s a hard life for a 3 year old.
I child might also fall apart if they are trying to succeed at something new. If a child is putting a puzzle together, but can’t quite get his fine motor skills to work he might just burst into tears.
Trying to get along with peers can also set off a tantrum.

 Photo Credit

How can parents prevent a Tantrum?
First, if you are going out with your child, make sure they aren’t tired, hungry, or uncomfortable. Remember the snickers commercials?
Second, talk to your child. Make it clear that you will not be buying candy at the grocery store. If you do have to go through that aisle have your child close their eyes until you are out, or maybe they can bring their favorite toy with them to hug when they are sad about no candy.
Third, look for warning signs of a tantrum. Sometimes children will start to turn red or their voice will get higher when they are beginning to lose control. If you start to see these signs in your child take a moment to try and calm them down and understand what they are feeling. Use words like mad or sad so he’ll learn to use those words instead of acting out. Lastly, try to stop a tantrum in process with a distraction. Maybe going for a walk or singing a song together will help make them feel better.



How do you handle a Tantrum?
If you can leave the child alone and he is safe, let him be. Let him have his tantrum and walk away. Let him know that you know he can control his feelings and when he does you can talk about it. If it helps him soothe himself you can bring him a blanket or a stuffed animal. If you can’t leave him alone because you are in a public place, try holding him. Sometimes a firm hold or hug can help the child. Or take them to your car or outside to a field or park if close by. If your child starts to kick or hit sit them in your lap and hug his arms and put one of your legs over his legs. The parent needs to make sure that the child can express themselves, but not hurt themselves or others. Let the child know that hitting, biting, or scratching will not be tolerated. Your child might try coming back to you seeking comfort, give them your attention if they are willing to talk without getting upset. If they are still upset and come to you, don’t engage until they have calmed down, if you do engage while he is upset he will most likely fall apart again.



When should I be worried?
Most tantrums last anywhere from 5-15 minutes. If they last longer and happen multiple times a day or a week talk to your doctor. Remember it could also be the age of the child. Also check to see if your child is hungry or tired, this may stop a tantrum from happening, YAY!
Lastly if you are really concerned and would like to have your child evaluated look for a child psychiatrist or psychologist. (Hint: call Help Me Grow if you need helping find this type of resource, we would love to help)


Source: Mastering Anger and Aggression, The Brazelton Way, By: T. Berry Brazelton, M.D. and Joshua D. Sparrow, M.D.

~ Miriam

Friday, October 2, 2015

Teaching your Child Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand how someone else is feeling in a situation and responding with respect and compassion. It is one of the most important skills that we can teach our children. Children are naturally empathetic because they are affected by other's feelings and are motivated to respond. When a child is able to empathize with someone; they are understanding that they are their own person, the other person has different thoughts and feelings as they do, and will be able to recognize what response would be appropriate to comfort them in the situation.


Photo Credit
                                                              
It's important for parents to help nurture empathy in their toddler. Rebecca Parlakian & Claire Lerner, LCSW, wrote a great article from Zero to three on how a parent can help a child develop empathy. Here are some tips they shared:



  • Empathize with your child and be a role model. One of the best ways to teach is by example. As you model empathy, they will be able to see how to empathize with others. 
  • Talk about others' feelings. 
  • Suggest how children can show empathy.
  • Read stories about feelings. For suggestions on books to read, click here
  • Use "I" messages. This communication will help with self-awareness. For example, "I don't like when you hit me. It hurts." 
  • Validate your child's difficult emotions. Don't rush to fix things with your child. Let them experience their feelings so that they can learn to cope with them. You will be able to help them learn how to handle difficult feelings as you validate their emotions. 
  • Use pretend play. Puppets are a great one to use for pretend play to act out scenes of how your child could empathize in situations. Look for teaching opportunities during pretend play. 
  • Think through the use of "I'm sorry." Sometimes toddlers don't understand the "why" behind apologizing. As you take the approach to helping them connect the action and reaction of the situation, you will be helping them to develop empathy. 
  • Be patient. We are all not perfectly empathetic all the time. Developing empathy takes time, so remember to be patient with your child and yourself. Strive to continue to be aware of teaching moments and continue to model for them the best you can! 

Photo Credit
                                                               

                                                                                                                                                     -Jen